Free Hostage by Cheryl Headford Page A

what’s wrong but… I just don’t… I don’t know what’s real anymore. Everything feels… wrong .” He started crying, and Rowan felt a stab of guilt as he realized Astrin was completely right.
    “That’s understandable. You’re ill and not strong yet. You feel weak and… and not right. Come on, get up and have a shower. Things will seem better then. I’ll take you out in the sunshine, and it will be warm and fresh. You’ve been in this room too long.”
    “Have I?”
    Rowan nodded. “A long time.”
    “How long?”
    Rowan weighed the options and decided that, on balance, the truth was probably best. “Three months.”
    “What…?” Astrin looked shaken. “That long? I must have been really ill. What’s wrong with me?”
    Again Rowan faltered, then shook his head. “What am I, a doctor? Come on, get off your arse. I told you, a shower will make everything seem a lot better.”
    “A… all right.”
    Hesitantly Astrin held out his hand to Rowan, and their eyes locked as he let Rowan pull him to his feet. He winced and hunched, pressing his hand to his chest, then he straightened, still biting his lip.
    “I’m okay.”
    Rowan led Astrin into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Rowan’s heart was thumping with the prospect of helping Astrin as he had the day before. It didn’t appeal to him any more than it had then, but he had the strangest feeling he’d be horribly disappointed if he just turned and walked away.
    “Can you manage on your own?”
    Astrin thought about it and nodded. “I… think so.”
    As expected, the disappointment was keen. He had to grit his teeth against a sharp response. He wanted to hurt Astrin. Old habits died hard. Fortunately, he was able to control himself, so he merely nodded and smiled, then turned to leave.
    “Rowan…,” Astrin called, causing Rowan to turn back. “I’m not sure… I’m not sure if I can do it on my own. But… but you…. It feels… weird.”
    Astrin was standing but leaning heavily against the counter. Rowan could see his hands shaking.
    “I seem to remember you didn’t used to be so shy.”
    “I… didn’t?” Astrin narrowed his eyes at him.
    “Nope. Now, I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to be stuck in this bathroom all day when the sun is shining and the birds are singing outside. So get your clothes off and your arse in that shower, quick smart.”
    Astrin smiled shyly. “All right.”
    Astrin struggled to get undressed but wouldn’t let Rowan help. Rowan watched with a smile on his face. This was just the kind of stubborn independence that had irritated him so much the day before. Today it didn’t irritate him at all.
    When Astrin was done, he looked totally exhausted and couldn’t get up out of the chair, although he tried. He swore, frustrated with himself.
    “It’s all right. I’ll help.” Quickly shucking his own clothes, Rowan hauled Astrin out of the chair. Once on his feet, Astrin groaned again and sagged against Rowan, his body tense and clenched with pain.
    Rowan tightened his arm around Astrin and held him close until he relaxed. “You okay?” Astrin nodded but didn’t speak.
    It felt very different than the day before as Rowan gently guided Astrin into the shower. Today the shower relaxed him too, and he rested his cheek on Astrin’s head, allowing himself to enjoy it. Reflexively Astrin put his arms around him, his head heavy on Rowan’s shoulder. Rowan was perfectly content—for about a minute, which was how long it took for what he was doing to hammer into his brain. He was standing in a shower, completely naked, in the embrace of another naked boy… and it wasn’t even one he liked.
    Unlike the previous day, he’d not have dreamed of pushing Astrin away. Instead, he disentangled his arms gently and stepped away. Astrin looked a little dazed.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “I’m getting cold. Do you want me to wash your hair?” Astrin smiled and nodded. “Dunk your head under the