Free Hostage by Cheryl Headford

been a terrible friend… but I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be your friend now.”
    Astrin narrowed his eyes and bit his lip thoughtfully. “Do you know me well?”
    Rowan shook his head. “I thought I did, but it turns out I don’t. I don’t really know you at all.”
    Astrin continued to stare with that puzzled frown. Then he laughed lightly. “You’re weird.”
    “So are you. You’re a freak, Raphael.”
    “Raphael?”
    “That’s your name—Astrin Raphael.”
    Again Astrin frowned, then shook his head. “That should mean something to me, shouldn’t it? My name. Who I am. But it means nothing, nothing at all. I’m no one.” He sighed and lay back on the pillows, a tear squeezing from the corner of his eye.
    “Hey… no feeling sorry for yourself. I’m under strict orders to get you up and active today, and I’m not having a sniveling brat hanging around with me.”
    Astrin looked up with wide eyes, but Rowan was smiling, which teased out a small smile in return.
    “I don’t think I want to get up. I don’t feel well.”
    “Of course you don’t. You’ve been horribly ill—sometimes all over me, but you’re better now, and if Ragnor says you can get up, then get up you will, whether you want to or not.”
    Without meaning to there was an edge of the old enmity in his voice, and Rowan sighed internally. Being a friend to Astrin was going to be much harder than being an enemy ever was.
    Frowning doubtfully, Astrin sighed and nodded. “All right. If it’s doctor’s orders, I suppose I have to comply. What do you want me to do?”
    “Shower first. You stink.”
    Astrin’s eyes widened again, and Rowan shook his head in exasperation. “Don’t you ever know when I’m fooling with you? You do realize, of course, that with such an easy target I’m going to be teasing you to death all day.”
    For a moment Astrin looked uncertain, and then he laughed. It was the first time Rowan had heard him laugh properly, and he liked it.
    “Come on, let’s get on with this. It’s a beautiful day, so I think we should start with a walk in the gardens. Then we can go to the games room, play some games, and have lunch… then we’ll see.”
    “Okay.”
    Astrin seemed stronger than he had been the day before, but as soon as he was upright he doubled over with a gasp.
    “What’s wrong?”
    “It hurts.”
    “Let me help you.”
    “No… no, I can…. Please, leave me.”
    Panting, Astrin leaned against the wall, his arms wrapped around his chest. A few moments later, he slid down the wall to sit on the floor, hugging his knees tightly.
    Rowan watched helplessly, his heart pounding. Knowing what had happened to Astrin the night before, he couldn’t stop the fluttering panic that churned his stomach. He left Astrin as long as he could stand it, then knelt in front of him. Astrin’s shining blond hair cascaded over his hands and knees, shutting him away, and Rowan was completely lost, not knowing what to do.
    Eventually, when his soft “Astrin” was ignored, he reached out and touched the silky hair. Astrin jumped and snapped his head up sharply. His face was streaked with tears but still impossibly beautiful and, Rowan suddenly realized, ravaged by his recent treatment. Before he quite knew what he was doing, he’d reached out his hand and was wiping the tears from Astrin’s cheek.
    “Don’t cry. It’s going to be all right.”
    For a second Astrin froze, staring at Rowan; then he turned away.
    “Don’t. Don’t hide. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Rowan put a finger under Astrin’s chin and turned his head so he could look into the green eyes shadowed with pain and confusion. “I’m going to look after you now. I’ve been a bad friend, Astrin, but no more. I’m going to be a good friend now, and I’m going to look after you.”
    Astrin frowned deeply and tried to turn his face away again.
    “Don’t,” Rowan said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
    “I don’t know. I don’t know