Free And Berry Came Too by Dornford Yates

room.”
    Quietly I told her my tale.
    “But I shan’t say I’m sorry,” I concluded, “because I’m an honest man. I’m much too glad to see you. The pity is I’m not Herrick. To Julia, abed , would have been a sonnet worth reading. Oh, and who says Fate doesn’t know best? First, she brings us here and then she fairly hounds me into your room.”
    “It does look like it,” said Perdita. “Mother and I were en route and I ricked my back. Yesterday evening, that was, and this was the nearest inn. The silly part is that she’s gone to call upon you, to ask you to do what you’ve done. Visit the sick, I mean. The doctor says I’ll be here for another two days. But all that can wait for the moment. If you really want the ruling of your baboon, I should stay where you are: they asked me if, as mother was out, the fellow could lunch in our room: and I said ‘yes.’ Well, that room’s directly below us, and the ceiling is very thin. If he and Aaron speak up, you’ll hear every word.”
    “Good lord,” said I. “What a chance! All the same, I don’t like eavesdropping. I mean—”
    “Don’t be a fool,” said Perdita. “Quite apart from anything else, you may bet your happy days that a man who is so suspicious is up to no good.”
    With her words came the sound of a car, and a moment later the crunch of tires upon gravel declared that the curtain was up.
    The baboon was out in the forecourt before I had reached the window commanding the scene.
    Oozing servility, a willowy, pale-faced youth emerged from the limousine – to be met with a glare which would have made a lion tamer think.
    “What does this mean? Where’s Aaron?” Hat in hand, the unfortunate creature blenched. “I’m very sorry, Mr Stench, but Mr Aaron is ill – with stomachic pain. So he gave me your catalogue and—”
    With a working face, his master turned right about and blundered into the inn. The other followed delicately, goggle-eyed…
    I tiptoed to Perdita’s side.
    As I opened my mouth, she laid a hand on my arm.
    “Stay with me, please. I—”
    From below, the voice of a brute cut her sentence in two.
    “Have you got the things?”
    “Every lot but one, Mr Stench, so far. And all well below your figures. If I may say so, I think we’ve done—”
    “Which one did you lose?”
    “The set of chairs, Mr—”
    A howl of anguish rang out.
    “All but the chairs? That’s what you came for, you blockhead – to buy those chairs.”
    “I’m sure I’m very sorry, Mr Stench, but it wasn’t my fault. I went to the figure you’d written down in the margin, and just as I thought—”
    “What did they go for?”
    “Two hundred and fifty pounds.”
    For a moment there was dead silence. Then came a hideous sound – a gobbling noise…
    As I turned to meet the horror in Perdita’s eyes, Aaron’s unfortunate deputy voiced his dismay.
    “Don’t, Mr Stench,” he whimpered. “What have I done?”
    His master spoke through his teeth.
    “Look at that, you blundering idiot.”
    “What about it, Mr Stench? Two hundred and – Oh, my God, Mr Stench, that isn’t a ‘one’?”
    “That is a ‘one.’ One before two makes twelve. One thousand two hundred and fifty is what I wrote. I’ve as good as sold those chairs for two thousand pounds, and you’ve let some country counterjumper…”
    I think that was all I heard: at least, I remember no more – except the blaze of excitement in Perdita’s glorious eyes.
    “Go and buy your table,” she breathed. “And – and then, if you please, come back and revisit the sick. The sick will be very grateful. I don’t know that they can promise to make your fortune again, but—”
    “The light in your eyes is my fortune, you pretty maid.”
    “I’m afraid that’s not legal tender. Goodbye, Herrick.”
    “There’s plenty of time,” said I, and picked up her fingertips. “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.”
    “Business first,” said my lady, and whipped her fingers away.