longing for is a ghost, someone I can never be with. Having Nick near me, even if what we are to each other is changing, makes that feeling of loneliness somewhat bearable.
When I search my soul and try to sense Thatcherâs presence, nothing is there and a tear trickles down one cheek. I wipe at it angrily, feeling like Iâm a terrible person.
âAre you okay?â Carson hands me a tissue.
âIâm fine!â I snap at her, but when I see her hurt expression, I soften.
âItâs not your fault, Cars,â I say. âThings are just . . . complicated.â
She reaches over to give me a squeeze, and I accept it, feeling a little less horrible about myself, thanks to her hug. âYou know what might help?â she asks.
âPlease not a Hallowed Hauntings marathon.â I groan.
âI wouldnât do that to you!â says Carson, but she knows thatâs her favorite show.
â Roman Holiday ?â
I smile. âYes.â
I want things to be like this, simple. Like before. So I try to push away my memories of the Prism for tonight, just like Thatcher wants.
We change into pajamas and tuck under Carsonâs covers, side by side on her bed as she streams our favorite sleepover movie.When Gregory Peck comes on the screen, his cheekbones remind me a little of Thatcher . . . and my mind leaves Carsonâs room once again, floating into a wish where he comes back to me for more than just a speech about moving forward.
I fall into a fitful sleep before the scooter scene, and when I wake up in the morning, Carson is already dressed and sitting on the end of the bed, looking at me intently.
âWhoa, stalker,â I say. âWhy the crazy stare?â I push a wavy mass of my dirty-blond hair out of my eyes. Then I yawn and meet her gaze. Her lips are pursed in anticipation.
âWhat?â I ask again.
âYou were talking in your sleep.â
I try to play it cool. âAnd?â
âJust one question: Whoâs Thatcher?â
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Eight
OUT ON THE PORCH, over a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and biscuits and gravy cooked by Carsonâs mother, aka the best cook this side of the Mississippi, I finally decide to spill it. The Prism, the Guides, Thatcher, my mission to heal my loved onesâCarson includedâby haunting them in a subtle way, a soulful way.
I donât tell her how I felt, how I feel, about Thatcher. I canât put that into words yetâitâs too painful. And Iâm not sure now is the right time to talk about Reenaâs possession, and what she and Leo and the rest of the poltergeists were up to. I donât know how Carson would handle it. She has always believed in an afterlife but not necessarily one where people here could be actually threatened by those who have left the physical world.
âI was looking for signs from you everywhere ,â says Carson, hereyes glowing with excitement. âI knew you werenât trapped in that hospital. I could feel it.â
I smile at her. Iâm a little afraid to be sharing all of this, but it is so nice to be able to tell someone. And she takes everything I say as absolute truth, which is a relief since some of it sounds downright cuckoo.
âWere you hanging around with me a lot?â she asks. âEven when I went to the bathroom and when I was reading that romance novel I have tucked under my mattress? Oh! Were you with me when I googled my face crossed with Ryan Goslingâs to see what our baby would look like?â
I laugh and throw my balled-up greasy napkin at her. âOf course not! I didnât have time to watch your every move. I would just visit you . . . sometimes.â
Like Thatcher does with me now.
âLet me think,â she says, and I know sheâs trying to recall the moments when she
Dean Wesley Smith, Kristine Kathryn Rusch
Martin A. Lee, Bruce Shlain