Free Arizona Allspice by Renee Lewin Page A

I’ll take your word for it then.” He tossed the crumpled paper ball into the waste basket and grinned. Technically I had not broken my private promise not to lie anymore. Dr. Agneau had been the one to lie, falsifying records by throwing away the information Manny offered, I rationalized.
     
    He directed me out of his office and down the hall, with one hand gently at the middle of my back guiding me forward and the other hand holding open doors. It reminded me of things Raul used to do for me. I reminded myself again to call Raul soon. The doctor led me into the recreation room and asked a passing male nurse to pull my dad from his checkers game.
     
    “Greg will take you and your father into the sitting room where you two can talk.”
     
    “Thank you, Dr. Agneau .”
     
    “Please, call me Darrell,” he smiled.
     
    “Thank you, Darrell,” I smiled weakly.
     
    “Alright.” He removed his hand from my back and walked out the double doors into the hall. Dr. Agneau had been obviously flirting with me and I half played the part of someone interested. What he didn’t know was that I didn’t want to have a relationship with him or any another man until the day came when I’d forgotten just how bad one could hurt me.
     
    I watched the nurse talking to my father and witnessed the cheerful expression slip off of Dad’s face as he looked across the room and saw me, his daughter, standing there. My heart fell. When he finally walked up to me wearing the customary blue shirt and sweatpants uniform he gave me a small smile and made no attempts to hug me. He didn’t even say hello. I could only give him an awkward wave. We were escorted to a room filled with loveseats, and coffee tables decorated with fake ivy plants that needed the attention of a feather duster.
     
    “So,” I started, blinking back tears, “I heard that Emanuel called you. How is he? He won’t talk to me so I have no idea.”
     
    His knee was bouncing up and down nervously as he sat beside me on the sofa. “He’s fine, Elaine. He’s going to come out the other side in one piece. Just like you will.”
     
    I peered up at him. There was conflict behind his indifferent façade.
     
    “Dad, let’s just go home now. I don’t want you to spend another minute in here.”
     
    “Laney, I’m not going home today.”
     
    “You have every right to leave today, right now. You’re not under arrest. You technically never were.”
     
    “I’m going to stay here for as long as I feel I should. Do you understand? I’m not going to come home and have you take care of me. I want to be here.”
     
    I worked so hard, day after day, to take care of him, to make sure he never had to be in a place like this, apart from the people who truly loved him, and my sacrifices had not been appreciated. I know that sometimes I just needed a break from it all, but I never wanted him to leave. It was then that I cried openly. I sobbed as he reached out to hold me. I moved away, escaping his embrace.
     
    “I’m your father and I’m supposed to take care of you, not the other way around,” he said softly. “I like it here. The doctors are nice, the food is alright, and the other residents are going through what I’m going through. I don’t feel like a burden here. Elaine?”
     
    I stood up from the couch intent on heading out the door. I couldn’t stand to hear anymore nonsense. I took two steps before he caught up and took me by the arm. He turned me around to face him. I was stung by the remorse in his eyes. Dad hugged me firmly. “Please, don’t leave me while you’re angry. I won’t do well here if I know you’re angry with me.”
     
    “I’m not, I’m not,” I murmured a partial truth. I was angry but the feeling was waning as I remembered I didn’t want to repeat that ignorant anger I felt towards my mother before she passed away. I forced myself to realize Palo Verde wasn’t such a horrible hospital and that my Dad wouldn’t be gone