Free Behind Closed Doors by Ava Catori Page A

just wasn’t
sure how to fit in all of the pieces.
    The
more we discussed our future, the more we realized we were at a
divide. We wanted different things, all while wanting to stay
together. What did that mean for our relationship? Were we simply two
people that wanted to be together due to a mutual attraction, or did
we have unified goals we would work towards? Everything became
clouded, and I began to question our path. Was this meant to be, or
was this simply a short term relationship that would launch us in two
different directions?
    I
think the more we talked about it, we saw something we didn’t
want to see. We finally got to the point where we started to avoid
the topic. Our futures, our choices – they weren’t the
same. Now what? Do we go our own ways, live our own lives and dreams,
or do we find compromise and stay together?
    Alex
stopped talking about marriage and children, and I stopped inviting
him over as often as I used to. I was torn, told him I was busy, and
in truth I was. I had exams to get through, but I was also scared.
    I
didn’t want to lose Alex, but we had very different ideas of
what our future would be. I wasn’t sure we could compromise
without losing who we were, or what we wanted in our lives. We were
left divided, uncertain what to do.
    The
answer came from Alex. I didn’t expect it.
    “ Elle,
I’ve done a lot of soul searching, and we need to talk.”
    My
heart was broken before he could get out his words. I wasn’t
ready to split and go our own ways. I loved him, and yet…
    “ I’d
rather be with you than without you, and if that means we do things
your way, then that means I compromise. If you decide you want
children at some point, then we have children. If it’s your
career you want to dive into, then I’ll support you one hundred
percent. I’ve put a lot of time and thought into this, and I
just can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
    I
felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, and when he dropped to one
knee, I felt the tears welling up inside. Reaching into his pocket,
he pulled out a ring – a gorgeous solitaire diamond sparkled in
the light.
    I
was overwhelmed in the most wonderful way. I hadn’t expected
this, and didn’t know where we were headed. I was terrified I
might lose him, and now this. I loved Alex, and was crushed at the
thought of us parting ways. I was incredibly grateful he’d come
to the same conclusion – we belonged together.
    “ Elle,
would you do me the honor of being my wife?”
    Looking
at Alex, I was speechless. He took me by surprise, I thought he was
about to end things. Yet here we were, and he just asked me to marry
him! I couldn’t stop crying, the fear of losing Alex dissipated
and all that was left was our future – together.
    I
was nodding, crying, laughing, “Yes, Alex, yes!”
    The
smile that spread across his face matched my own. Taking me into his
arms, he wrapped me up and covered me in sweet kisses. “I’m
so thrilled, I was nervous to ask you.”
    I
caught myself for a second, before I got swept away in the joy.
“Alex, are you certain? I know how much you wanted children,
and I can’t promise anything. With school, a career, and even
getting older,” I hesitated, wanting to make sure he
understood.
    “ I’m
sure. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. There’s
no hurry, but I want you to be my wife one day.” His words were
soft and genuine, and I only had to ask once. I saw the happiness, in
his blue eyes; he meant what he was saying.
    Bringing
my mouth to his, we shared a tender kiss. “Come to bed with me,
Mr. Stone” I smiled. I felt naughty and loving. I wanted to be
intimate with my future husband, and had missed this feeling between
us. The last few weeks had been difficult, and I was relieved to put
the worry behind me.
    “ Okay,
future Mrs. Stone,” he said, and then corrected, “or keep
your name, or hyphenate, whatever works for you. Look Elle, I don’t
care what you want to do, as long