a new challenge.â
Quill cocked an eyebrow. âI assume youâre not angling for a job.â
That made the wolf-shifter break into a rare chuckle. âNot even close. Iâd be a terrible businessman. The bureaucracy was bad enough in government work.â
âTrue enough. Though a well-placed cred can slice through some of the red tape.â
Kienan blinked. âBribery.â
âYou disapprove?â Why he felt the need to ask, Quill would never know.
The wolf squinted through the steam, his gray gaze focused on Quill. âIs that what youâre hoping for or just what youâre used to?â
âI gave up caring what people thought of me a long time ago. I did what I did to survive.â He shrugged but couldnât meet that piercing gaze. Something tangled in his chest that he didnât understand, so he pushed it away. âGrowing up in the Vermilion doesnât leave you with a lot of legal revenue sources outside of prostitution.â
âWere you ever a jade?â
âNo, I own interest in a few jadehouses now, but I never worked in one, never sold my body for money.â He grinned. âThough some might argue I sold my soul instead.â His smile faded and he cleared his throat. Why had he said that? Why did he feel the need to explain himself to this man? The wolf was a temporary distraction, nothing more. It was of no importance whether he understood Quillâs motivations. He turned off the shower and stepped out, turning his back on Kienan. âThe truth is, I never knew my father and my mother was a blisshead who sold the drug to feed her addiction. I took over in order to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs. My incentive was money, not drugs, and after I made my first few creds, I wanted more.â
âAnd you always will.â The words were quiet, as unassuming as the man himself.
âI like to be in control. In my house, everything revolved around my motherâs addiction. It controlled our whole life. Worse was when she had a man around who tried to âteach me some respectâ or father me in any way. I usually ended up getting my ass kicked.â Over and over again. Quill had the scars to prove it, too, inside and out. Only the most tenacious bastard would have made it out of his childhood alive, and he was nothing if not a survivor. He laughed, the sound harsh. âThere was always someone bigger than me on the street, so I had to be smarter and faster. And I decided that someday Iâd be the one making the decisions. Iâd be the one dictating my own life.â
He didnât like to think about that time, rarely let himself. Heâd learned long ago to look forward, not back. But the memories swamped him now, those ugly moments that shaped who heâd become. How many times had he been beaten so badly he couldnât stand? How many bones had been broken before heâd even turned ten? How many times had his mother stood by and watched, so out of her mind with bliss she didnât know or care what was happening? His gut roiled, and he swallowed hard. No, thereâd been no control for him then. He lived by the whims of his motherâs habit.
If he didnât want to starve to death, heâd had to deal the drug she craved so badly and figure out how to keep his stash out of her hands. Seeing what it did to her had probably been the one thing that had saved him from diving into that same stupor. His friends back then had fallen prey to it, one by one, but Quill wasnât going out like that. He fucking refused to give his life to a drug, to spin so far out of control he didnât give a shit if people he loved were beaten to death in front of him. Heâd scrabbled and scraped and fought, done things he never wanted to think about ever again to get out. Heâd do it all again if he had to. Never again would he live like that. Never.
Kienan hummed. âMy work taught me