Free Lost in Mist and Shadow: A Between the Worlds Novel by Morgan Daimler Page A

as soon as possible to the site that had been used for the rituals – the murders, Allie reminded herself – but another part of her desperately wanted to avoid any further involvement. What if I do go and I find…something? Anything? Allie thought, chewing her lip as she pulled on a pair of jeans and plain grey t-shirt. What if it all starts up again? Jess told me before he died Walters said it wasn’t over, that what he was doing would be carried on. What if I find that it’s still happening? The thought made her start shaking.
    She sat down on the bed, staring at the floor, still the same carpet she’d had since moving here as a child. I did my part, I helped them stop what was happening and catch Walters. I can’t do that again – unbidden the flashes of memory that had plagued her almost since the events themselves had occurred played through her head yet again: a boot stomping mercilessly on her ankle, crushing the already broken bones. The sound of her own voice screaming behind a rough gag made of an old towel, the feel of it rough against her lips. The circle of three men looking down at her, two Dark court elves and one human killer, their eyes cold. The sound of the bone in her arm snapping as it broke. The feel of his hand in her hair, twisting. The concrete cold underneath her. The sound of her dress tearing and a voice that was burned into her mind saying ‘now, my turn’…The feel of his hands pressing into her skin…the blade of the knife sliding into her side, between the ribs…the sudden inability to draw a breath…
    She leaned forward on the bed, putting her head down afraid she might pass out. Her hands covered her face and she sobbed as quietly as she could, not wanting anyone to hear her crying. No. No, I can’t. I’m sorry Syn, I can’t. Not again. She sobbed harder, her chest constricting painfully, and slid to the floor. Her breath came in short gasps as she hyperventilated and the edges of her vision started to go dark.
    Then, suddenly, Jason was there, his hand on her back, calling her name over and over. Instantly she latched onto him, using his emotions to pull herself out. His worry and fear were not her own they were solid and rooted in his concern for her, not in her phantom fears and remembered pain. She sucked in his concern and immediately took a deeper breath, her racing heart starting to slow.
    “Allie? Allie? Just breathe. That’s right slow breaths. Nice and slow…”Jason kept talking but his words didn’t matter. His solid presence and emotional openness allowed her to calm down. She realized she was curled on her side on the floor, and struggled to sit up. After a moment’s hesitation Jason helped. “Better?”
    She nodded, focusing on getting her breathing under control. “Yeah,” she finally managed to get out, “beh, beh-ter.”
    “Don’t try to move too much. Just sit for a little bit until you stop shaking.”
    She nodded again, clutching his arm and the physical contact that she desperately needed. Perhaps sensing that he moved to sit next to her, tucking her against his side. “Holy shit, Allie. I think you were having a panic attack.”
    “Yeah,” she said, forcing herself to stop shaking through sheer willpower. “I know.”
    “You - how long has this been going on?” he sounded stunned but she felt anger and worry in waves.
    The inevitable headache was starting and she closed her eyes. “A while.”
    “A while? Like a while a couple weeks? Or a while like years?” he asked carefully.
    She was silent unsure how much to tell him. He hugged her closer, “It’s okay Allie. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to, but don’t, I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with whatever’s going on alone. I know we haven’t been really tight friends before but I am your friend and I want to help you.”
    She fought to keep from crying again, hating how weak and helpless she felt. But his genuine concern and love broke through her