Free Lost in Mist and Shadow: A Between the Worlds Novel by Morgan Daimler Page B

barriers and reluctantly she said, “I started getting them after…after I hurt my ankle.”
    “Okay,” he said slowly. “That’s understandable. You went through something really traumatic. You don’t just get up the next day after having your best friend murdered, being kidnapped, and beat up, you don’t just walk away from that and everything’s rosy. No one expects you to be perfectly okay.”
    “I can’t be weak Jason,” she said shaking her head slightly.
    “Of course you can! No one is strong all the time-“
    “No you don’t understand. In the – where I grew up weakness isn’t an option. It means you’re a victim,” she shook her head as she spoke.
    “Allie, it’s okay to admit you were a victim-“
    “No!” she cut him off again this time more forcefully. “No. It’s not. The first time in the store when I got hurt I knew it was because I was weak. But it wasn’t really that bad, a broken nose, a concussion. And then Syndra died, and they took me, and I can’t defend myself Jason! Being a victim means always being a victim, and I can’t. Not again…”
    “Allie,” he said gently, “you aren’t being rational. I know this might feel overwhelming, but what happened did happen whether you admit it to anyone else or not. And making yourself crazy acting like everything’s fine when it isn’t is just, well crazy.”
    “I don’t want to talk about it.”
    “Yeah, but that isn’t going to make it go away, or make it so it didn’t happen,” he said softly. “You said it yourself the other day, your emotions are all over the place. You’re having panic attacks. I mean you can’t just keep going on like this. Something has to give.”
    She nodded slowly and then struggled to stand up. “I have to get ready for work.”
    Jason frowned, started to say something, stopped, and then said “I think you should talk to someone. Someone professional.”
    Allie thought hard about that for a minute, the silence stretching between them. He meant professional human help, but she wouldn’t be able to talk about the Dark court with them, not when the Dark court didn’t exist to most humans. But, there was one possibility. The problem was she had no practical way to pay for his help…“Yeah okay.”
    “Really?” he sounded genuinely surprised.
    She nodded, “Yeah. I’ll go see Brynneth. He’s a healer.”
    “That’s not what I meant,” Jason said. “I meant more like a psychologist.”
    “I know you did. But I think an elven healer might be better for this. And he can heal minds too you know.”
    Jason looked skeptical, but nodded, “Well alright. As long as you talk to someone about it. And you know if you ever need to talk to me, well, I’m just across the hall, okay?”
    “Yeah. Thanks,” she said. Then, finally noticing he was only wearing a loose pair of pajama pants, added “I’m sorry if I woke you up”
    He stood up with her, shrugging, “It’s okay, I was on third last night so I only just got to bed. I wasn’t even really asleep yet.”
    “Well, back to sleep with you,” she said pushing him towards the door of her room.
    He hesitated, and she walked with him, “It’s okay Jason, I have to get ready for work anyway. Go back to bed. I’m okay now. And I’ll get in touch with Brynneth.”
    “Do you promise?” he asked as he stepped out into the hallway. She stopped short. “Come on Allie I know how this works. Promise you’ll talk to him as soon as you can.”
    “I,” Allie mumbled, trying to think of a way out of a binding oath,”ummm, I can’t say as soon as I could because…well, how about…Okay, okay! I promise I will try to talk to Brynneth about this problem I’m having the next time I see the Elven Guards.”
    Jason yawned, but seemed satisfied. “Have a good day Allie.”
    “Go to bed, Jason,” she said back trying to keep her voice light. And I didn’t say I absolutely would, I only said I’d try she thought to herself, heading down the