Free Nurse in Love by Jane Arbor Page B

condition, and perhaps we ought to try that first — ”
    “Thank you, Doctor.” Carol reached solicitously for the teddy-bear and cuddled him to her at the same moment as Adam noticed the newcomers and stood up to greet them.
    He bowed to Kathryn and nodded to Steven. Nothing, seemingly could have been less strained than their manner of meeting. But Kathryn was acutely aware of an unspoken question, almost an accusation in his brief glance into her eyes, and even Barbara sensed a tension which, as a clever hostess, she sought at once to dispel.
    But, supposing that it arose from an awkwardness between Kathryn and Steven, she introduced Steven and Carol to each other. And then of course Steven had to make the acquaintance of Edward, which left Kathryn and Adam inevitably together.
    After a moment Adam said in a low voice: “You haven’t found it easy to do what I asked of you?”
    “I met Dr . Carter in the town,” returned Kathryn distantly. “He knows Barbara and Victor well, and it wouldn’t have been courteous not to bring him to see Barbara as I was coming myself.”
    “Please don’t think you have to explain yourself to me,” he protested quickly.
    “You seem to assume I ought to.” Stung to the challenge, she hated herself for making it when her heart was stabbed through with the pain of loving him as she did.
    “Then I’m sorry. Though I must say I’d hoped you’d be wise—and considerate enough of Steven to keep away from him, if you can’t encourage him sincerely,” he said quietly, making Kathryn wish with all her heart for the power to snatch back the retort which had sounded like a hot resentment of his interference in her affairs. But it was already too late. He had turned to Barbara to ask when she expected Victor home, saying that if he might he would wait to see him.
    Victor had not come by the time Kathryn and Steven took their leave. She had been aware for some time that he was anxious to go, and as they left the house he apologised: “I don’t know what’s the matter with me. Nerves, I suppose. But I don’t seem to be able to settle to anything—even as pleasant a half-hour as that — for long.”
    “It’s an aftermath of your illness, I daresay. You can’t expect to feel fit all at once, especially when you’ve had a complete change of climate to cope with too.”
    “I suppose not.” He did not sound convinced. Their way led past the playing-fields of Victor’s school, where a game of Rugby was in progress. The ground was bordered by a wall with a parapet at elbow-level, and as if by mutual consent they stood to rest their arms on it, watching the game.
    They watched in silence for some time. Then Kathryn said slowly: “Steven—there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you, if it doesn’t seem like too much of a probe into your private feelings.”
    “You know you can ask me anything.”
    “Well—you weren’t too—too sad or embittered over my refusing to marry you?”
    He kept his eyes upon the racing, tumbling boys as he said: “You know how much I cared.”
    “Yes, I do. But you did accept that it would have been wrong of me to say Yes if I felt I didn’t love you enough?”
    His mouth twisted a little. “I had to accept it, didn’t I?”
    “Yes, but you didn’t hold it against me for too long?” How difficult all this was!
    “I didn’t hold it against you at all. How could I?” Her spirits lightened.
    “Then, whatever your disappointment, you weren’t still fretting over me after you went out to Africa?”
    “I hadn’t forgotten you, if that’s what you mean.”
    “But you wouldn’t claim that—that worry over me had helped to bring on your illness?” Her gloved fingers gripped hard upon the stone as she put the question.
    Steven turned to stare at her in surprise. “But of course not! You were right to refuse me if you didn’t love me. Kathryn, you haven’t been blaming yourself all this time?”
    Blaming herself! The unconscious