Free Attack of the Alien Mole Invaders! by Tony Abbott

1
    The Zoney Zone
    T HONKA-THONKA-THONKA!
    Jeff Ryan stepped back from the swishing blades of the big helicopter taking off from his front yard.
    â€œI’m off to the shoe store, dear!” yelled Jeff’s mother, swinging from a rope ladder above him.
    Jeff glanced up and down Birch Street. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday. Other moms might be flipping pancakes or reading the morning newspaper.
    Not his mom. She was off to her job at the shoe store.
    Thonka-thonka.
    A moment later, the chopper roared away toward the hills north of Grover’s Mill.
    Shoe store? Jeff thought to himself. His mother had been saying that for as long as he could remember. But his friends told him there was a secret army base in those hills. A base filled with stuff captured from alien spaceships!
    His friends all thought that was very weird.
    Jeff sighed to himself. “But Mom would tell me the truth, wouldn’t she?”
    Bong! The giant donut-shaped clock on the Double Dunk Donut Den chimed the hour.
    Sssss! A big puff of steam rose from the oversized pan on the top of Usher’s House of Pancakes.
    Grover’s Mill had not one, but two giant food signs on Main Street.
    His friends thought that was also very weird.
    Jeff thought it was kind of funny.
    â€œTime to go,” he told himself. Jeff was meeting his friends at Mike Mazur’s house to play some street hockey. Mike’s street had just been paved and it would be perfect for a game.
    Jeff looked down at his skates. They were not in the best shape. They were old and getting older and tighter by the minute. And hockey wasn’t really his game. He’d be lucky if he got anywhere near the puck.
    Jeff curled the brim of his baseball cap, grabbed his hockey stick, and pushed off down the sidewalk.
    Actually, the sidewalk sort of pushed up at him!
    â€œOoof!” Jeff stumbled, skidded, and landed on his face.
    He turned his head—ouch!—and saw the problem. A big round bump ran across the sidewalk. In fact, it went completely across the street and up a yard on the other side.
    â€œMy lawn!” shrieked a voice from across the street. Jeff craned his neck to see Mr. Sweeney, the janitor of W. Reid Elementary, batting furiously at the bump in his yard with a shovel.
    â€œUh, do you like it down there, or do you want help?” said a voice.
    Jeff looked up. Holly Vickers was standing over him. She was wearing skates, too, had a hockey stick over her shoulder, and a bubble gum bubble growing slowly out of her mouth.
    Holly was in Jeff’s class at W. Reid Elementary. She was also the sister of his best friend Sean.
    Pop! went the bubble. Holly reached down and pulled Jeff to his feet. “Weird,” she said. “This street is looking more and more like a crinkle-cut french fry.”
    Jeff shrugged, twisting his baseball cap. “Yeah, this bump just suddenly appeared and—”
    BLAMMO! The ground thundered!
    Jeff dived back to the sidewalk—and this time Holly joined him—as a big, heavy manhole cover shot up from the street next to them! It arced like a basketball going for the net and landed across the street.
    CRUNNNNCH!
    â€œMy mailbox!” screamed Mr. Sweeney.
    The two kids crawled slowly over to the hole in the street and looked down.
    â€œRed,” said Jeff, squinting into the sewer. “Reddish light. Do you see that?”
    â€œVery weird, Jeff. Very zoney,” Holly said. “Let’s get to Mike’s before the sky falls down.”
    â€œOr the street falls up!” said Jeff, grabbing his stick and twisting his cap around. “But listen, I just want you to know. Hockey isn’t really my game.”
    â€œYeah, I know, but hurry up, anyway. It’s going to be fun,” said Holly, already skating down the street.
    â€œYeah, lots of fun,” Jeff mumbled, his toes starting to ache in his skates.
    Two minutes later, they rolled down Cedar Circle. Mike was in front of