Free The Rocks Below by Nigel Bird

 “ It’s no trouble at all, Sam,” she replied. “It’s like a trip down memory lane. Reminds me of when Dougal was policing nights. Now let me get you that coffee. You’ll be needing a few sugars in there by the looks of you and I’ll bring through the biscuit tin in a mo’.”  Rose shuffled out of the room and left the men together.  
          “ You were police?” Hashtag asked.  
          “ Aye. Man and boy.”  
          “ Cool.”  
          “ Why, do you fancy yourself on the force?” Sam asked.  
          “ I might. Anyway, let’s get this stuff off and work out what we’re going to do about all of this.”  
         The men peeled off their wetsuits and wrapped themselves in towels.  
         Rose knocked at the door. “You decent?”  
         Dougal opened the door and Rose came in with a tray full of mugs of coffee, sugar, spoons and a barrel-shaped biscuit tin.  
          “ Shame,” she said. I was hoping I might catch a bit of action.”  She smiled at Hashtag, raising an ‘if-only-I-were-years-younger’ eye-brow, put down the tray and looked down at the bloody marks on his legs. “What the heck have you been doing?  Wrestling an octopus?”   
         She bent down and rubbed her hands around his calves shaking her head. “Well?”  
          “ It was nothing Rose,” Dougal told her.  
    “ If that’s nothing, I’m a monkey’s uncle. You should be getting these men to the doctor.”  
          “ We’ll be there first thing in the morning, don’t fret. Now leave us to it. There’s a lot for us to sort out before morning.”  
         Rose stood, tutted at her husband and left the room again. She closed the door with a bang that was almost half a slam, caused the china cups to tinkle in their saucers and the key in the lock to fall to the beige carpet.  
          “ Nice,” Hashtag said.  
          “ She’ll be fine.”  
          “ We owe her a bunch of flowers,” Sam said and then passed round the coffee that would help their insides warm to somewhere near room temperature.  
          “ It’s like there’s a huge elephant in the room,” Sam said to break the silence when the drinks were gone and the biscuit barrel had been emptied.  
          “ You don’t half talk some rubbish,” Dougal told him.  
          “ Not a real elephant. More of a huge rock.”  
          “ Makes me sick just thinking of it,” Hashtag said.  
         Dougal stood up in the room, something he’d been trained to do in situations where he needed to take a position of authority. “Aye. Well we’ll have no time for messing around. I’ll need you boys to stay here overnight. Soon as we can, we’ll need to report what happened. I’ll be recommending that they get the army in to blow those things to smithereens.”  
         Sam was in agreement. “If it means I never have to see them again, I’m all for it.”  
          “ Now wait a minute…” Hashtag began.  
          “ I’ll not be waiting thirty seconds. You know what those things can do. All those dogs. Doc Brown. Those twins, God rest their souls. The sooner we get rid of them, the better for everyone.”  
          “ It’s not their fault they’ve been stranded on our beaches, it’s ours. Messing the world up. What are they supposed to do?  Turn vegetarian?”  
         Dougal’s face reddened. He pointed a finger at Hashtag and waved it at him like he was about to teach him some kind of lesson. “There’s no choice.”  Dougal went over to the living room door, picked up the key and turned it in the door’s lock.  
          “ What the hell?”   
         Dougal put the key on the floor and flicked it under the door as hard as he could. The men heard it slide across the wooden floor of the hallway until it hit something solid way over on the other side. “And if you’re thinking