Free The Sound and the Furry by Spencer Quinn

crime.”
    “What about her?” Lord said.
    “Grannie Robideau’s a Robideau,” Duke said. “The Robideaus been enemies with the Boutettes
     goin’ way back.”
    “Even further,” said Lord.
    “Meaning they’re enemies of your brother Ralph.”
    “Wouldn’t say that,” Lord said.
    “Why not?”
    “Ralph’s got no enemies,” said Duke. “He’s a loner, keeps his nose clean.”
    Keeps his nose clean? That had to be important. I checked the noses of everyone in
     the room. All clean, if you didn’t count the long hairs sticking out of Lord’s. I
     wasn’t sure whether to count them or not. Had this problem ever come up before? Not
     in any case I could think of, and we’ve cleared a bunch. I licked my muzzle: totally
     clean. So where were we?
    “What about these patents of his?” Bernie said. “Patent disputes are commonplace.”
    “Wouldn’t know about that,” Lord said.
    “Ralph’s a genius,” Duke said.
    “IQ like two fifty, two sixty.”
    “Way up there, anyways.”
    Bernie’s eyes were very bright, like he was maybe about to laugh. Was something funny?
     Probably not, because instead of laughing, Bernie said, “What has he invented?”
    “Gizmos,” said Lord.
    “Vannah mentioned that. Can you be more specific?”
    Duke and Lord turned to each other. “What was that funny-looking thing, sorta thick?”
     Duke said.
    “Had a special kind of steel, I know that,” said Lord. “Came all the way from Germany.”
    “Japan.”
    “Germany.”
    “Japan.”
    Bernie held up his hand and the Germany-Japan back-and-forth came to an end. “How
     long has he been reported missing?”
    “To who?” said Lord.
    “The police,” Bernie said. “You can file a missing persons notice after twenty-four
     hours in most jurisdictions.”
    “The cops?” Duke said. “You mean down in the parish?”
    “Isn’t that where he lived on the houseboat?”
    “Yeah,” said Lord. “But we didn’t file no report.”
    “Why not?”
    “Why not?” said Duke. “Because the cops in St. Roch is all Robideaus.”
    “And they’re our enemies,” Lord said.
    “You covered that,” Bernie said.
    Duke sighed, a long, weary sound. “There you go,” he said. “No matter what I do, I
     always end up going through these things twice.”
    “Hank Williams say that?” Lord said. “Still the best, now and forever.”
    Bernie drained his glass real quick, like he needed that drink bad. He gave his head
     a little . . . whoa! A little shake? Yes, he did. Wow.
    “When was the last time either of you saw Ralph?” he said.
    “Musta been before I got busted,” Lord said. “Let me think.”
    While Lord was thinking, Duke said, “I seen him last week, maybe Thursday or so.”
    “And when did he disappear?”
    “More like the Sunday or so.”
    “Where did you see him?”
    “I paid Ralph a little visit over by his boat,” Duke said.
    “Yeah?” said Bernie. “You do that often?”
    “Whenever he’s runnin’ short on cash,” Lord said.
    “Pot callin’ the kettle,” said Duke, losing me completely.
    “Right back at ya.”
    “Times two.”
    Bernie held up his hand in the stop sign. “Does Ralph have lots of money?”
    “He does all right,” Duke said.
    “But no one knows exactly,” said Lord.
    “Ralph playing things close the vest,” Duke said.
    “Kind of a loner,” said Lord.
    “Got that,” Bernie said. “Where does his money come from?”
    “Gizmos,” Duke said. “Dint we mention that already? Fact is, he was workin’ on one
     when I dropped by.”
    “What was it?”
    “Metal contraption, about so big. Had two of them, now I think of it. The other one
     looked pretty much the same, but Ralph said it was a piece of crap.”
    “What was it for?” Bernie said.
    “Huh?”
    “The contraption—what’s its purpose?”
    “Search me,” Duke said. “But Ralph was pretty pissed off about something. Cussin’
     and such, which ain’t him at all.”
    Lord started laughing.