Free The Survival Game by Stavro Yianni

John replied coldly. ‘
Nothing…
’
    ‘Are you in some kind of trouble, Yiannaki?’ Phillipo asked in a concerned voice. ‘Is someone threatening you?’
    ‘No, no, no, nothing like that.’
    ‘Well, what then?’
    John went silent and looked up to the
Panayia
for help. Inside he was torn; a groan of anguish flew out of his chest. He just couldn’t help it, he was in a corner again and he hated it.
    Phillipo then put his hand on his shoulder. ‘
Yiannaki
, you are my cousin. Let me help you.’
    ‘I can’t tell you
re
, Phillipo. But, it’s something I have to do. I messed up and I have to put it right, but while I’m gonna be at it I’m… I’m a bit scared of what I might do. What I might
have
to do. But, it’s not for me,
re
, it’s for my wife and my
moro
. For them. It’s for them. So they can have a good life. I don’t wanna be like my dad. I don’t want to do to them what that bastard done to me and mum and
Yiayia
. Any
armaties
I’m going to commit are for their survival, for their happiness. Is that wrong?
Is it?
’
    Phillipo shook his head and looked John sincerely in the eye. ‘A man committing a sin because he has no other choice
can
be forgiven as long as he understands and accepts he has sinned and asks for forgiveness.’
    ‘It’s just until we have enough money to… till we’re stable. For my
moro
,’ John told him.
    ‘Have you got financial problems?’ asked Phillipo. ‘Is that what it is?’
    John stared at Phillipo with wide eyes. Phillipo didn’t know about John having to sell
Yiayia
’s maisonette to pay back his debts, and he was in no hurry to tell him either… ‘It’s a part of it,’ he said, being economical with the truth.
    ‘Are you working?’
    John shrugged uneasily. ‘Kind of…’
    Phillipo sighed. ‘You’re not, are you? How are you getting by?’
    ‘I’m getting by, Phillipo, like I always have. Look, I’ve just gotta do this one thing and it’ll all be okay again. But I just wanna know that I’ll be forgiven for my
armaties
.’ John rubbed his eyes while he spoke.
    Phillipo patted him on the shoulder. ‘
Re
Yiannaki, your sins will be forgiven if you ask for forgiveness. But you must
want
to be cleansed of them.’
    ‘I do, Phillipo. You know I never meant to hurt anyone. Not
Yiayia
, not Alisha. I’ll admit there was a time when I wished
Yiayia
would die. And when she finally did, it ended up being my fault. I didn’t know what I was doing earlier in my life, and now I have to live with the guilt.
It tears me up,
re. But I always feel like I’ve got no choice.’
    Phillipo’s grip on his shoulder tightened. ‘
Re
, listen to me. We all sin. All men sin. It’s the way God has made us. We’re imperfect. A man who catches fish is technically sinning. To destroy one of God’s creations is a sin. But if he’s doing it for food, so that he and his family can eat, then the sin can be forgiven because it was put onto him. He may not have wanted to do it, but he had no choice in the matter. Sinning is not the issue with God. It’s whether you regret the sin, whether you seek forgiveness for your sins. Whether you learn the difference between right and wrong. If you are going to do something bad—and I pray that you aren’t—but are doing it because you have no choice, then God may forgive you for it because
he
has given you this dilemma.’
    ‘Well why does he do that to us,
re
?’ John asked. ‘What for?’
    Phillipo shrugged and his halo darkened slightly. ‘Maybe to see if we really do regret our sins. For him to separate the good men from the bad.’
    John turned his head to face his cousin full on. ‘Yeah? And which one am I, Phillipo?’ he asked.
    Phillipo sighed and squeezed John’s shoulder. ‘I think you’re a good man, Yiannaki. Your heart is good. But you just always take the wrong path.’
    John looked back at the
Panayia
, a sudden feeling of positivity shooting up inside him on hearing his cousin’s verdict. He