Free Skinny by Laura L Smith

couldn’t stop now.
    She jammed her fingers down her throat farther.
    Cuugghkk! She coughed, expelling her fingers, which were hot and moist. She hoped her friends couldn’t hear her, hoped the music was loud enough to drown this out.
    Again, Melissa leaned over. This time a hot gush filled her throat, sweet and sour and acidic. She removed her fingers and peeked in the toilet. Not a lot, but at least she had gotten rid of something.
    Her eyes watered.
    Melissa leaned back, disappointed. She had hoped to feel more triumphant, more in control, but she couldn’t even make herself puke very well.
    Then a surge rose in her throat. This time she couldn’t control the hot mucousy bile. It overflowed out of her mouth and through her nose like the baking soda mixture out of her volcano science experiment in third grade.
    The gagging made her eyes water, and her mascara smeared down her cheeks. Her fingers were covered with thick brown goop. She inhaled. She had to clean herself up. No one could know what she had done.
    Like a robot, Melissa stood and turned the left faucet knob on high. She grabbed a wad of toilet paper and blew the remaining goo from her nose. She squirted a silver dollar–size dollop of soap in her left palm and began to lather with the hot water. She scrubbed her hands and arms up to her elbows. Then she scrubbed her face, erasing all traces of tears and vomit.
    God, please don’t let them know. Please don’t let my friends know what I just did. Please make them still like me. I need someone to like me.
    She smelled her hands. They smelled like the piña colada soap Mrs. Mack stocked in all the soap dispensers. That smell always made her think of Raven. She loosened her hair and let it fall down on her shoulders. She took a deep breath. She was ready, but she was sure her breath smelled like vomit.
    Melissa meandered past the kitchen counter, where she grabbed a stick of gum from her purse and popped it in her mouth. The sharp taste of artificial sweetener almost made her gag again, but she knew the mint would help overpower the scent of her sin.
    “Yeah, what’s wrong with her anyway?” Emma’s voice stung Melissa’s ears.
    “Things did not look good with Beau,” Lindsey said. “I think she needs eyeliner and maybe a fitted sweater. She needs to make him want her.”
    “Give her a break, guys.” Gracie’s words hung in the air as the girls sensed Melissa’s return. The sudden hush from her friends affirmed the “her” they were talking about. She bit her lip and forced a smile.
    “Lindsey, I was hoping you could give me one of your famous makeovers.” Melissa winked, pretending she hadn’t heard them. “I figured I needed to wash away the old me so you could create a beauty queen.”
    Lindsey squealed with delight and pulled out her makeup kit.
    “I’ve been dying to, Yellow.”
    Melissa flopped down onto the couch and chomped her gum. “I’m all yours, Linds.”
    “Well, which one?” Lindsey squeaked, holding up two eyeliners.
    “Oh, whatever, how about blue?”
    “How daring of you, Melissa. You’re normally a more conservative girl.” Lindsey grinned giddily.
    “Wow!” Emma said, dropping cross-legged on the floor next to them. “Melissa, you look totally like a vixen. You’ll have to do me next, Linds. Can you make me a size eight?”
    Raven came in with a bowl of popcorn.
    “Who’s ready for the movie?”
    “Roll ’em!” Emma shouted.
    Gracie leaned over to Melissa and whispered, “Are you okay, sweetie?”
    Melissa couldn’t mask her mood for Gracie. They’d known each other for too long. They’d learned how to ride bikes together and compared treasures from the tooth fairy. They bought their first training bras together and went away to church camp together, able to leave home for a week only because they had each other.
    “It’s Beau. I’ll tell you later.” Melissa squeezed Gracie’s hand. Gracie was such a perfect friend, even if everyone else was