Free Coco Chanel Saved My Life by Danielle F. White

shouldn’t be afraid of feeling differently, but proud of it. I shouldn’t try to be a conformist. Actually, feeling a
little revolutionary
made me feel better. I will not become cynical and will keep dreaming big. I will remain the romantic I am, in spite of everything. I smelled Chanel No 5 through the pashmina scarf I had around my neck, and went back to work.
    During my lunch break Claudio called me. He too was curious to know how my night with the dentist had ended. Claudio had become a very close friend. I never had such a deep friendship before with a heterosexual male. Almost always physical attraction, and sometimes a sense of possession, made friendships with men complicated. On the contrary, it had been easy and natural with Claudio. We were two loyal good friends – nothing more. I knew he found me attractive, but there wasn’t any sexual chemistry between us, and this had allowed us to be true friends. Just a few days before, he quoted the end of
Casablanca
, one of his favourite films:
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship
. I felt deeply moved.
    I needed a friend like him in Milan, otherwise Emma would tell me to go to hell one day. They both shared the burden. Me.
    Over the phone, the first thing he laughingly asked me was, “did you score last night?”
    I laughed too. “No, the dentist was married!”
    â€œâ€¦ and he even remembered he was married when he began to flirt with you!”
    â€œHe didn’t think it was a problem.”
    â€œWas it a problem for you?” Claudio asked.
    â€œI think so… I thought about it and decided that I deserve a lover without the burden of a family.”
    â€œI understand. You don’t know how many times I suffered because I got involved with married women!”
    â€œI can’t understand how people can so easily keep love and sex separated. Even when there is passion.”
    â€œCoco, I’m afraid that we are the odd ones. These days passion and feelings are two completely different things. I have met several married people – men and women – who have several affairs while at the same time they claim to deeply love their legitimate partners.”
    â€œI would be devoured by a sense of guilt!”
    â€œBecause you’re a romantic.”
    â€œLet me be clear. In my past I’ve had some
sex & rock roll
only affairs
; yet if someone I could love appeared, I stopped fooling around.”
    â€œAh, ah, ah! So no sex for the poor dentist last night?”
    â€œI don’t know, Claudio… Honestly, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go to bed with him. Are you convinced too that the only way to forget someone is to make love to the first person you meet?”
    â€œThe truth is, Coco, that there isn’t the right answer for everybody. Some people can forget their old love by only falling in love with someone else. For others it’s easier, and they can soothe their pain with sex,
Sexual Healing
. Some people just need time. However, time helps us to feel better. Maybe it’s still early for you to jump into a new relationship, or perhaps you’re only waiting for the right person. Who knows?”
    â€œFrankly, I hoped someone could show me the way!”
    â€œI get it! This won’t console you, but I am telling you that many have experienced a broken heart. Suffering for love is one of the most painful things that can happen in life. And it’s always as if it were the first time. We are always unprepared. Love knocks you off your feet, then it’s gone as if nothing happened. And we, silly human beings, are helpless before the power of love. We can only surrender.”
    â€œDo you think this torment will pass sooner or later?”
    â€œYes! I promise. And when it’s finally over, we’ll celebrate. But remember, on that day I will forbid you to drink on an empty stomach – you become
dangerous
…” His laugh