Free Stirring Attraction by Sara Jane Stone

now?
    â€œTalk to me,” he said. “You used to tell me everything. About your mom. Your dad . . .”
    Her eyes narrowed. “I did. You’re the only one who knew what it cost me to watch my mother suffer and know there was nothing I could do to save her. You know how hard it was to see my dad slip deeper and deeper into addiction. I turned to you when I realized I couldn’t save him. I shared everything I was feeling. And then you walked away, taking pieces of me with you.”
    â€œI’m sorry,” he said. And damn, he hoped she could see the truth in his face, because the words felt inadequate. Apologies didn’t fix the past. He couldn’t make amends with words.
    â€œI hated you for a while.” She glanced down at her hands clasped tight in her lap. “But it doesn’t feel good to hold a grudge against the man who left to hunt down terrorists. It’s like wishing rainstorms on the ­people standing on the shores to welcome the refugees.”
    â€œYou have every right to hate me for not coming home after they released me from the hospital.”
    â€œTrue.” She looked up, but didn’t return her gaze to his face. She stared out the sliding doors and into the night. “But I’m starting to realize . . . fear isn’t easy. It’s not something you can set aside at bedtime. I wish I could most nights.”
    â€œI wasn’t afraid,” he said. “I was stupid.”
    Now, she turned to face him and raised an eyebrow.
    â€œOK, maybe a bit of both,” he admitted. “To tell you the truth, I’m still scared.”
    â€œOf the dark?” she asked in a tone that called BS to his claim.
    â€œNo, honey. I don’t mind the dark.” It was his turn to look away. He hadn’t shared his feelings with anyone in a long time. The military shrink he’d tried to convince that he was fine and ready to serve again—­that guy didn’t count.
    â€œI’m afraid I’ll never be of much use to anyone,” he continued. Why hide the truth from her? She deserved to know why he couldn’t stay here staring at the pieces of his previous life. “I feel too damn broken. I thought I knew what my future held. I walked away from this place, from you, determined to make that sacrifice matter. And to suddenly be out of the game? I feel like a fucking failure, Lil. And I don’t think that will change if I stay here.”
    He waited for her to envelop him in a hug and shower him with comforting words. And hell, if Lily shoveled on the pity now . . . it sure as shit would erase the last trace of his desire.
    â€œWell, I’m scared of the dark,” she said as if he hadn’t just poured out his heart and soul. “I’m afraid to close my eyes. Even when I’m in the shower, I’m terrified to wash my hair because I’ll have to close my eyes for a split second. And that’s all it takes. He could get into my house and . . . I know he’s out there. It wasn’t a random attack.”
    Oh, Lily. His heart broke for her.
    â€œI’m afraid to go out alone. And I’m terrified to stay in by myself,” she said, the words pouring out one after the other, faster and faster. “You want to know how I feel? Paralyzed by fear. And I hate him. Whoever he is, I hate him for doing this to me.”
    I’m going to kill him. When I get my hands on the man who did this. . .
    She let out a bark of laughter. “Hate and fear. That’s my life. Is it any wonder that I want to add an orgasm to the mix?”
    â€œNo, it’s not surprising. But I’m not your guy.”
    She shook her head. “There’s never been anyone else. Not for me. And that scares me too.”
    Reach for her. Pull her close. Kiss her.
    His mind issued the commands in rapid-­fire succession. His body responded to those words. And his hands moved. He set