Free Dendera by Yuya Sato Page B

cravens who insisted on defying the tradition of Climbing the Mountain just so that they could scratch out a few more miserable years—these feelings were stronger, and they crowded out her positive emotions. The very fact of these women’s continued existence riled Kayu Saitoh; they made her feel filthy, unclean. And anyone who can make you feel like that, well—it’s easy enough to suppress any feelings of sympathy or love that you might otherwise have felt toward them.
    Unable to articulate all these conflicting emotions, though, Kayu Saitoh simply said, “When you get to Paradise you are granted eternal happiness.”
    “Eternal happiness? As if such a thing could exist,” Kyu fired back. “So you believe that once you are in Paradise you’ll be perfectly happy forever and ever. You really believe that?”
    “Well, won’t I?” Kayu Saitoh said, defiant.
    “As far as I can tell, Paradise is just a place where people’s thoughts and dreams go, so it’ll be just as full of hope and despair and anger and wishes as anywhere else. Can you really call that happiness? No, when you die, nothing changes and nothing ends.”
    “So when are we going to be able to finally rest in peace?” Kayu Saitoh asked.
    “There’s no peace. No rest. That’s why we all have to carry on living, as best we can.” And with that, Kyu disappeared off into the distance.
    It was an irritating conclusion to a disturbing conversation—there was no closure for Kayu Saitoh, no satisfaction. It would have been far easier to deal with if Kyu had simply denied the existence of Paradise, but no, she had to go and decide what Paradise was like , and it troubled Kayu Saitoh; it gave her thoughts she didn’t want to have. Determined to banish the unease from her mind, Kayu Saitoh concentrated on picking up her pace as she ascended the snowy slope in an effort to catch up with the rest of the expeditionary squad ahead of her.
    At the plain at the top of the slope, the squad were standing still, focusing intently on their surroundings, bristling at every flurry of snow falling from the branches of the surrounding trees. They were fixed intently on their course: to recover the corpse of Sasaka. Now and then, Mei advanced nimbly forward, giving signals to the others to follow or to spread out. The expeditionary squad had been divided into smaller units, and Ate, Hatsu, Somo, and Naki clustered around a fir tree on an outcrop up front, with Makura, Soh, Kaga, Guri, and Ume positioned at another fir tree some way away from that one, while Kotei, Hikari, Tai, Tahi, and Tamishi stood next to a creeping pine positioned some way behind the two fir trees, while Chinu, Koto, Shima, Hyoh, Tema, and Tsusa were in a linear formation with Nokobi, Itsuru, Kyu, Tsugu, Tsuina, Kan, Mitsugi, Usuma, and Mumi forming another line behind them. Mei herself was positioned sideways on, giving her a full view from which to survey and command her assembled troops. When Mei saw that Kayu Saitoh had finally arrived, she narrowed her eyes and grumbled how Kayu Saitoh was late.
    Kayu Saitoh ignored Mei’s comment and just asked, “Any sign of Sasaka, then?”
    “This is where the trail of blood stops. Kayu Saitoh, you go line up over there with the others.”
    Kayu Saitoh made to move toward the rear wall that she had been assigned to, but suddenly Kayu Saitoh sensed an immense, looming presence somewhere behind her, causing her to tremble. It happened so quickly, without warning, out of nowhere. Kayu Saitoh hadn’t seen anything, hadn’t heard anything, and hadn’t understood anything. And she didn’t need to.
    A mass of blackness emerged.
    It appeared from the direction of the creeping pine. Kotei, Hikari, Tai, Tahi, and Tamishi all just about managed to leap or roll out of the way of the black bundle as it charged at them, but the ferocity and the suddenness of the attack, combined with the uneven, precarious surface of the ground, meant that they all ended up