Free Make Him Purr: A Paranormal BBW Werepanther Shape Shifter Mail-Order Navy SEAL Romance by Anya Nowlan Page A

blind luck – it always was. But emotionally? Nothing could convince him that what had happened had been fair in any way, shape or form. He’d have given his life for any single one of his squad that died in that jungle, nameless and forgotten. They hadn’t even received commendations for the battle – as far as the Navy was concerned, it never happened at all.
    That was what they’d all signed up for and known; but it was one thing agreeing to it and accepting it when there was no real danger, and a whole other thing living with the knowledge that the sacrifices of your men only lived on in your heart.
    After that, Diesel had been honorably discharged. As much as he’d wanted to keep going, he couldn’t deal with what had happened and still effectively lead a squad. He didn’t need fancy military psychologists to tell him that he was damaged. He might as well have lost an arm or a leg in the battle – that was just how helpless he felt.
    And now here you are again, mucking everything up, he thought darkly.
    He’d been trying his damndest to put it all behind him, but it just took one night with Sonya to rip those wounds right open again. What if he’d fail her too? Wouldn’t it be better to give her a chance at a future with someone who could give her what she deserved?
    But Diesel wouldn’t have long to figure things out. Someone else was going to make him decide very fast whether he wanted to fight for her or not. And that someone had no qualms about using violence to achieve his goals.
     

CHAPTER ELEVEN
    Sonya
     
    “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Sonya murmured to herself, letting the hot water cascade over her body.
    Her mocha skin was dappled with suds of soap and her hands worked through her thick, long brunette curls. Usually, taking a shower was a rejuvenating, meditative thing for her. She would go over her day and figure out if anything was left unfinished or if she could have done something better. But, on rare occasions, the hot water just made her emotions boil over – this was one of those times.
    Tears burned her eyes, though she kept them at bay. A few might have rolled over her cheeks, but she told herself that it was just the water pouring down her face.
    It wasn’t that she felt bad about what she’d done with Diesel – hell no, it had been completely worth it and more! But she’d allowed herself to hope that maybe, just maybe, it could be the start of something more, something bigger, something good. And instead of having her feelings reciprocated, she was met with that stony silence she’d chipped away so painstakingly before Diesel revealed some of the softness inside. Now, all that work seemed to have been for nothing, and she was left standing like a fool, holding her heart in her palms and having it rejected.
    Something was wrong, that was obvious. But what was it? And did she even have the right to find out? She barely knew the man. Maybe the best thing to do was to pack her bag and just get the hell out. Damn the hot sex and the sizzling chemistry. Focus on the task – getting as far away from Blade as she could without leaving a string of dead bodies behind her.
    Sonya sighed to herself, rinsing the shampoo out of her hair and cleaning off the soap. She turned off the water and toweled her hair, feeling no cleaner than before she stepped under the stream of water. If anything, she just felt more sour and annoyed at what had been dangled in front of her nose and then snatched away unceremoniously.
    She pulled on a pair of panties and an oversized tee, leaving her hair to dry in the air. She didn’t want to dress in anything more modest – let Diesel see that fine Illinois booty he was willing to let walk out the door! She gave herself a critical look in the foggy mirror, turning around and striking a pose – yeah, his loss. She’d approach the topic once more over dinner, but if she didn’t get a spark out of him then, she’d just go and strike out on her own again, no