knowledge stabbed at his heart.
“We’re resorting to this again?” she asked in a broken voice. “Stealing kisses out back? Where no one can see?”
Christ, this wasn’t what he wanted. It wasn’t what either of them wanted.
With all his heart, Jackson wished he could lift her up and carry her through the restaurant. Carry her openly, for everyone to see. Carry her back to the hotel and into his room. Make love to her without the guilt of knowing he was betraying his sister.
“The way you were looking at Garreth… Fuck, Rach. You’re ripping my heart out.”
“H-how was I looking at him?”
He growled low in his throat. “Like he was breakfast.”
Rachel swallowed audibly before murmuring something so soft he couldn’t hear her. “What did you say?” he was forced to ask.
“Garreth wants to have a threesome,” she whispered. “Him, me and you.”
Jackson groaned out loud. He couldn’t fucking believe Gazza had told her. He also couldn’t fucking believe how hard his dick was.
“I-I said no. We couldn’t do that. Not to Jenna.”
Jackson took a very deep breath. “You said no. But is that what you want?”
Rachel didn’t answer. But her shaking body gave her away. Her breasts heaved against him, her nipples torturing his chest.
“You want it, don’t you?”
Her breath quickened, but she still didn’t answer.
Something twisted in his chest. “You want to sleep with him and with me.”
“I do,” she said at last. “God help me, but I do.”
Fuck, how could more blood fill his dick? There wasn’t space. The pain was excruciating. “Do…” The words wouldn’t come out. He cleared his throat. “Do you love him?”
She laughed, although the sound was not humorous. “I hardly know him.”
“You know him well enough.”
“We’ve slept together. I’m attracted to him. I don’t love him.”
“But you want to fuck him. Again.”
She caught her breath then released it with a hiss. “Yes.”
“Alone? Just you and him?”
“No.” There was no hesitation whatsoever in her answer.
“You want me there too?”
A soft moan escaped her mouth, as though she’d tried to contain it but couldn’t. “Yes.”
“You want to fuck me and my housemate at the same time?” He didn’t know if he was angry beyond measure, or aroused beyond control. Probably both.
She shook her head. “I-I want to fuck your housemate. I want to make love with you.”
“Fuck it!” Frustration swamped him and he slammed his hand against the wall beside her head. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
She cringed. “I shouldn’t have told you,” she said, instantly contrite. “I should just have kept my big mouth shut.”
“No!” He shook his head fiercely. “No secrets between us. Ever. There are enough damned secrets in our lives.”
She wrapped her arms around him, held him close. So close he had no hope of hiding the effect she had on him. He didn’t try.
“I’m sorry, Jackson. So sorry. I wanted so much for this weekend to go smoothly. To pretend nothing had ever happened between us. That we were no more than friends.” She shook her head. “But I can’t do that. I can’t act like I don’t feel all of these things. Can’t pretend I don’t want to fuck Garreth again. Can’t pretend I don’t want to make love to you. Or that I don’t love you. Because I do. I love you. I am quite hopelessly in love with you.” The tears were back, falling down her cheeks. “And now I am going to walk away again, before we do anything stupid. I’m going to drive back to the hotel and lock myself in my room.”
He wanted to stop her. Wanted to refuse to let her go, but knew better than that. Rachel was doing the right thing. She was walking away. She was doing it for Jenna’s sake.
“Please, give Jenna my apologies. Tell her I had a headache or something.” She disentangled herself from his embrace. “Tell her I’ll see her in the morning.”
With that, she fled back inside the restaurant,