Free Bete Noire by Christina Moore

in his seat towards her. “I just want to understand what I am to you.”
    She looked away quickly, unable to meet his eyes. Yes, she knew that. But there was so much about herself that she just couldn’t give up, not just yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Tristan, in fact she trusted him very deeply. Instead, her hesitation was born of fear. Age, speed, strength, power… none of this meant a thing when it came to the heart.
    “Ash?” He touched her hand and when she looked up at him, didn’t pull away, he slipped his fingers in between hers. Just that one touch ignited his blood, made him think of things other than killing. There was a bed on the plane after all. “You are the most complicated, confusing, stubborn, pain in the ass woman I’ve ever known. I swear, if I stay with you any longer, then I’m going to start sprouting grays. Hell, I’ll be as white as you in a year at this rate.” He looked away to nothing, hand still covering hers, absorbing her cold energy. “Despite all that I can’t… I don’t want to be without you. Even knowing you’re in love with Lucien—”
    “Stop.”
    Tristan’s attention came around to her again, brow furrowed.
    “That could not be any further from the truth.”
    “But you—”
    She interrupted him again and he wished she’d stop it already. “Yes. He and I were once lovers… of a sort. Forced or consensual, we shared our bodies and blood many times.”
    Tristan tried to take his hand away, but Ash quickly grabbed it with her fast reflexes and slipped her fingers with his, palm to palm.
    “I have not been a willing bed partner to him in over fifty years.”
    Fifty years? Tristan felt like he’d heard that mentioned before, like there was something big in her life—a life changing moment. He wondered what it was.
    Ash frowned at him but chose to ignore his thoughts for now. She would tell him it all in due time. “I…” Ash heaved a big sigh. “The culture of my kind, what is considered acceptable, normal is not the same as it is with humans.”
    “Of course not.”
    She looked away, but held fast to his hand. She couldn’t bear to see his face when she told him the truth of her kind. “Lucien… he was the last person I have had… relations with. Before him, it had been…” She stopped to think. “Hm, about eight months or so I suppose. To say that is odd does not even come to close to explaining the behavior.”
    “Ash, seriously, the foreplay is getting tedious here. Just tell me what you’re trying to say.”
    She looked to him, forcing herself to hold his gaze. “Vampires are creatures of lust, both of blood and body. For a vampire to go more than a few hours without either is, rare. For one like myself who denies it for months at a time is unheard of.”
    “ Hours ?” Tristan said looking very confused. “That can’t be true. I mean, you’re vampires, but you’re still people, in a sense… and people are all different in their needs. Hours, really ? If that was true all you vampires would do is fuck and feed…”
    “Exactly.” She gave him a small smile that said he was being naïve. “We are built such, that if we do not indulge in blood and body as we feel the need… the consequences of denying can be grave.”
    “What consequences?”
    “Madness. Sheer and utter lunacy in ways I cannot even understand.”
    “What, like Malik?”
    She smiled again, that small condescending smile. “He was his own brand of lunacy that had nothing to do with lack of blood or sex. If anything he had an overabundance of both and at everyone’s great peril.”
    “So what, you’re telling me that if vampires don’t feed and fuck, they lose their mind? That’s just—”
    She winced at the curse word. “The truth.”
    He stared at her for a long moment before saying, “Okay, then why aren’t you insane?”
    She shrugged lightly and looked away again. This was the part she didn’t even know the full answer to, but suspected that