Free Fight for Glory (My Wounded Soldier #1) by Diane Munier

sense.”
    That fired me up
a bit. “Second you are widowed now. You’re mourning.”
    “Yes. Of course. You’re right.”
    “Third. You lost lot of blood. You’re weak.”
    “You’re right.”
    “And maybe you’re
scared.”
    “I’ve never been
very scared, Tom. Not like this. I have Johnny, and
the baby now. There’s the farm.”
    “But all those
things are your blessings, Addie. You don’t need to be afraid of your
blessings.”
    But I was. I saw
William’s face coming before me. I was afraid.
    She lifted my
hand and kissed it. I tried not to let my eyes pop. I tried to breathe regular,
the way I’d learned to do when we sniped. We’d wait all day, all night, next
day, lying in the brush, waiting for the prey, the
gray, some just boys, me and William, me and Jimmy. It was deer hunting.
    Her little lips
on me, the way they curved, her teeth and tongue when she said her words. She’d
been a teacher, William said. Oh she was ripe for some sodbuster to come
through. They were hot on her trail, and it was only a matter of weeks before
she’d give in and say “I do.” And it brought an ill humor to me, like nothing
else. If I cared for her at all, and I’d already settled in my mind that I did,
I could at least try to help her out, make sure she got one close to worthy of
her and the children. Course no one could be, but I could try to help her get
close. There was more to it than just keeping Jimmy away. I needed to help this
poor woman find a decent man, if there was such a beast.
    It upset me
terrible to think like this. But love…true love was selfless. I heard that
enough, and saw it in the way my pa was with Ma. I had this to go on. I needed
to put my selfish pigheaded wanting aside, my jealousy and petty hatred of many
things. Maybe that’s why God left me here when so many better men didn’t come
home. For Addie and the children. I thought my work
was done, but I could now see my mission. Then I could go west without the
misery I felt now.
    “ Don’t worry none about the farm. I’ll make sure your crops
get in.”
    “Yes, your pa and
the boys have told me such. Seth is going to stay on and help me over the
winter.”
    “He is?” How old
was Seth? Nineteen?
    “And Gaylin, he’s
such a wonderful young man.”
    “Our Gaylin?” I asked , just to make
sure.
    She laughed. “Of
course your Gaylin. Who else? He goes out of his way
to make me smile, I declare. And every day so many flowers.”
    “What?” I said
loudly, quickly doing my figures. Gaylin was nineteen. That made Seth eighteen.
That’s how it was. Course they were thinking of girls. But Mrs. Varn was a
little on the motherly side for such young bucks. But was there ever a more
pretty lass ? None I’d seen with these eyes, and I’d
seen my share.
    “Just let me know
they ever get too bothersome,” I said, rattled.
    “Oh no,” she
laughed, joyful over the thought of those two it seemed, “they are both such a
delight.”
    Well I’d be
darned. They were home spooning the missus with all the work we had to do? I’d
be watching them with a whole new vigilance come morning.
    “Missus, let me
walk you back to the house,” I said. I was in my long johns and my pants. My
feet were bare, and my suspenders hung at my sides, but we were past propriety
it seemed.
    “If I went in and
got the baby, could I come back and sit with you Tom? I…I can’t sleep in there.
I woke up, and I couldn’t breathe. I know it’s wrong. But…I don’t know what
else there is.”
    “What will we
tell Ma and Pa?”
    “The truth, I
reckon. Do you think they’d send me home then, Tom?’
    “It’s not that,
but the threshers come early morning, Missus. We can’t have you sullied. Folks
wouldn’t understand. Tell you what. I’ll come your way. Come on now, gather
yourself.” I took my hand from her, and stood, helping her to stand. I could
feel her stronger than just a few days before. She moved more surefooted. I put
out my lamp, and led