Free The Karma of Love (Bantam Series No. 14) by Barbara Cartland

left her a hollow shell of herself and she felt as if she passed into his keeping.
    When at last he raised his lips from hers the spell was broken and she was free.
    With a little gasp of horror she pushed her hands against his chest and incapable of speech, knowing only that she was frightened to the point of panic, she turned and ran away from him.
    He stood where she had left him, seeing the frilled tulle of her bustle following her like a small, crested wave; the shimmering scarf glinting in the light of the stars.
    Then there was only darkness and he could see her no longer.
    When she reached her cabin Orissa shut the door quietly and flung herself down on the bunk to hide her face against the pillow.
    It could not have happened ... it could not be true! How could he have behaved in such a manner ... or she permit it?
    She knew the answer as clearly as if he told her so.
    He had recognised her! He had known! He had seen her in Queen Anne Street and he had thought what she had expected he would think when he was aware she had spe nt the night in Charles’s rooms!
    It was obvious, Orissa thought with burning cheeks, that no gentleman would behave in such a manner to a girl he thought was pure and respectable.
    But to treat in this way a married woman, who had a husband in India and a lover in London, was behaviour to which she was unlikely to take exception.
    She had to admit, she had invited it upon herself. In speaking of being lonely, she was tal ki ng of the soul, but he had thought she spoke of her body.
    Going back over their conversation she could understand that Major Meredith, believing her to be a loose woman, unfaithful to her husband, would find it incomprehensible that she should not welcome his advances or enjoy a flirtation, if not more, when the opportunity arose.
    ‘I am ashamed ! I am ashamed!’ Orissa whispered into her pillow.
    She knew she could blame no-one for what had happened except perhaps her Step-mother for having forced her to take refuge with her brother.
    Yet how could she have anticipated that out of all the ships sailing to India, Major Meredith would have been on the Dorunda or that because she was in the company of the Critchl e ys it was impossible for her to avoid him.
    She might have guessed those searching grey eyes would not have been deceived.
    Thinking over again and again of what had occurred on the landing at Charles’s lodgings, she had hoped that because the gas-light was behind her her face would have been unrecognisable.
    Nor did she think that he would have remembered her figure; the way she moved, the darkness of her hair.
    ‘I have been living in a Fool’s Paradise,’ Orissa told herself and knew there was nothing she could do, no explanation she could make to him.
    W h at she had to try and find was an explanation to herself as to why Major Meredith’s lips had held her captive so that she had made no effort to escape until he allowed her to do so.
    How could she have been so helpless, so acquiescent?
    How indeed could she have surrendered her pride and her sense of decency so that she had in fact behaved like the woman she pretended to be rather than a young girl who had never previously been touched by a man.
    She could not explain her behaviour to herself. Yet it had happened and she could not deny it had been part of the glory of the night and something unexpectedly wonderful that no words could take away.
    She had the feeling that if he had gone on kissing her she would still be in his arms.
    She could not deny to herself that to be so close to him had given her a sense of security; a feeling of being safe that she had not known since she was a child.
    It was all just part of my imagination,’ Orissa said sternly and yet she knew that was untrue.
    But what concerned her now was that tomorrow she would have to see him again, to sit at the same table; and know what he was thinking of her.
    She would feel even if she was not looking at him that his eyes were