Free A Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup Page A

right, listen up and listen up good. Tonight, we’re puttin’ on a regular wingding in honor of our new friends who were kind enough to stop and help us out. So get your lazy backsides up and get ready to do some work for a change.”
    Jough looked at Maggie and Ethan. Ethan shrugged, causing Jough and Maggie to smile.
    “Tonight, we’ll have a feast like no other,” said Jibby as he climbed off the bus. “And entertainment that will leave you breathless.”
    “Really?” said Gerard.
    With this, Jibby sighed heavily and looked to the dirt beneath his feet.
    “Well,” he started. “Not exactly, I’m afraid. There was a time when we were something to behold. But in recent years, I must admit we’ve lost a bit of our edge.”
    “We don’t mind,” said Maggie with a smile. “Being left breathless is highly overrated.”
    “Yeah,” said Jough. “Besides, I’m sure you’re just being modest.”
    “If you think I’m being modest, then you don’t know me very well,” said Jibby with a snort.
    The first to make his way off the bus was a short, chubby man with a blue and white bandanna tied around his head. What was even more noticeable about the man, however, was that he wore glasses and, beneath those glasses, over his left eye, was a large black eye patch.
    “Ah, there you are,” said Jibby angrily. “Been lookin’ for this?”
    Jibby thrust the mangled sword at the man in the bandanna.
    “My best swallowing sword,” said the man in a low, sandpapery voice. “Where did you find it?”
    Jibby looked to Mr. Cheeseman, who said, “Actually, I found it. It was wrapped around the fan belt. I’m Ethan, by the way. And these are my children: Jough, Maggie, and Gerard.”
    Steve cleared his throat.
    “And that’s Steve.”
    “Pleasure to meet you,” said the man, offering a slight bow.
    “You must be Jake, the sword swallower,” said Maggie.
    “Three-Eyed Jake is my name, sword swallowin’s my game.”
    “Excuse me, sir,” said Gerard. “But why do they call you Three-Eyed Jake?”
    “Why do they call me Three-Eyed Jake? Well, I’ll tell ya why. When I first got my spectacles here, people started calling me Four Eyes. ‘Hey, here comes old Four Eyes,’ they’d say. Then, when I lost my left eye, well, four minus one equals—”
    “Three!” Gerard interrupted.
    “Right,” said Three-Eyed Jake, reaching out and roughing up Gerard’s spiky hair. “Smart as a whip, this one is.”
    “But how did you lose your eye?” asked Gerard, making certain he was out of range of Maggie’s elbow.
    “Bit of advice,” said Jake. “Never practice sword swallowing if you’re farsighted and you’ve misplaced your glasses.”
    The children winced at the thought of it. Even Steve winced with his solitary eye.
    “I had a glass eye for a while,” said Jake wistfully. “Beautiful thing it was. Haven’t a clue as to where I might have left the darn thing.”
    “You’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached to your neck,” said Jibby.
    “Reminds me . . . almost lost my head once, too,” said Jake. “All over a beautiful woman and a bottle of rye.”
    Jibby reached out and smacked Jake on the back of his head.
    “Is that an appropriate story for children?”
    “No,” said Jake. “I suppose it ain’t.”
    “Right. Now run off and start setting up for a feast to remember.”
    “Aye, Captain,” he said with a salute.
    As Jake walked toward the back of the bus, another man, tall and thin with a simple expression on his face, stumbled off the bus.
    “Everybody, this here’s Dizzy,” said Jibby. “Dizzy’s our tightrope walker.”
    “Hello, Dizzy,” said Mr. Cheeseman with his hand extended. “I’m Ethan.”
    Dizzy shook Mr. Cheeseman’s hand but said nothing.
    “Don’t take offense,” said Jibby. “He can’t talk.”
    “You mean he’s mute?” Jough asked.
    “Mute?” said Jibby. “I wish. No, he has the ability to speak, that’s for darned sure. He just can’t because,