Free A Whole Nother Story by Dr. Cuthbert Soup Page B

frankly, I won’t let him. So many stupid things have come out of his mouth over the years that finally one day I completely revoked his speaking privileges. That was four years ago.”
    “You mean he hasn’t spoken in four years?” asked Jough.
    “Not to me he hasn’t,” confirmed Jibby.
    “I can think of at least one other person who should have his speaking privileges revoked,” said Maggie, nodding toward her little brother.
    “If I had my way, it’d be half the world’s population,” said Jibby with a smile and a wink before turning to address Dizzy. “Now listen, Dizzy. We’re throwing a wingding for our new friends here. So let’s get to work setting it all up.”
    As Dizzy nodded and turned to leave, a look of inspiration suddenly washed across Jibby’s face.
    “Wait! You know, now that I think about it, forget the wingding. Let’s go all out and make it a shindig. Why not? A shindig it is. Which means there’s plenty of hullabaloo to take care of, so let’s get going.”
    Dizzy smiled his simple smile, then zigzagged toward the back of the bus, where Three-Eyed Jake was busy pulling folding chairs and banquet tables from the storage compartment.
    “I don’t mean to be rude,” said Jough. “But Dizzy seems like kind of a weird name for a tightrope walker.”
    Jibby breathed out a sigh of exhaustion.
    “Not in this case it’s not,” he said. “That’s the problem with our whole operation here. It’s all fallin’ apart. Our strong man hurt his back and couldn’t lift a feather. Our fortune teller got hit on the head and suffers from short-term memory loss. Can’t remember predictions he made two minutes before. And three weeks ago I had to fire both Wolf Boy and the Fat Lady.”
    “Why did you have to fire them?” Gerard mumbled through his giant plug of bubble gum.
    “Because the darn fools went and fell in love with each other,” said Jibby bitterly.
    “Sorry, but what’s wrong with that?” Mr. Cheeseman wondered.
    “I have a very strict policy against employees dating,” said Jibby. “Ever since that tragedy last year with the Bearded Lady and the Human Torch. Anyway, try gettin’ people to fork over their hard-earned money to see a strong man with a back injury, a fortune teller with shortterm memory loss, and a tightrope walker with vertigo.”
    Jough turned to Mr. Cheeseman.
    “Dad?” he said. “What about the earmuffs?”
    “I don’t know,” said Mr. Cheeseman. “Are you sure you don’t need them?”
    “I’m sure, Dad. I’ve been completely cured of that. I haven’t fallen down in over six months.”
    “Okay,” said Mr. Cheeseman. “Run and get them.”
    Jough ran back to the station wagon with Pinky right behind him.
    “I’m not sure about the others,” said Mr. Cheeseman. “But perhaps we can help your tightrope walker with his balancing problem.”

CHAPTER 10
    M r. Cheeseman and his three children sat at a long banquet table and watched in wonder as everyone rushed about to set up a fabulous shindig complete with all the hullabaloo. Well, not everyone helped. Sammy the strong man, whose back was too sore to be doing anything, sat and watched as well.
    Sammy was a dark man with a long brown ponytail and enormous arms, similar in circumference to the trunk of your average sycamore.
    “I’m one-half Cherokee,” he explained in a soft and easy voice that belied the man’s brutish appearance. “One-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian, and one-half Korean.”
    “Excuse me, but that’s five halves,” said Maggie.
    “Yes. That’s why I have the strength of two and a half men. Or at least I used to,” he said sadly. “I once lifted a horse over my head, you know. Not a pony, a full-grown horse. A full-grown horse that had just eaten a big meal. I don’t think he liked it very much, but the crowd went wild. Boy, those were the days.”
    “What happened to your back?” Gerard questioned before blowing a large