Free Complete Works, Volume IV by Harold Pinter

room.
    Silence.
    FOSTER Do you know what I saw once in the desert, in the Australian desert? A man walking along carrying two umbrellas. Two umbrellas. In the outback.
    Pause.
    SPOONER Was it raining?
    FOSTER No . I t was a beautiful day. I nearly asked him what he was up to but I changed my mind.
    SPOONER Why?
    FOSTER Well, I decided he must be some kind of lunatic. I thought he would only confuse me.
    Foster walks about the room, stops at the door.
    Listen. You know what it’s like when you’re in a room with the light on and then suddenly the light goes out? I’ll show you. It’s like this.
    He turns the light out.
    BLACKOUT

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    ACT TWO
    Morning.
    Spooner is alone in the room. The curtains are still closed, but shafts of light enter the room.
    He is sitting.
    He stands, goes slowly to door, tries handle, with fatigue, withdraws.
    SPOONER I have known this before. Morning. A locked door. A house of silence and strangers.
    He sits, shivers.
    The door is unlocked. Briggs comes in, key in hand. He is wearing a suit. He opens the curtains. Daylight.
    BRIGGS I’ve been asked to inquire if you’re hungry.
    SPOONER Food? I never touch it.
    BRIGGS The financial adviser didn’t turn up. You can have his breakfast. He phoned his order through, then phoned again to cancel the appointment.
    SPOONER For what reason?
    BRIGGS Jack spoke to him, not me.
    SPOONER What reason did he give your friend?
    BRIGGS Jack said he said he found himself without warning in the centre of a vast aboriginal financial calamity.
    Pause.
    SPOONER He clearly needs an adviser.
    Pause.
    BRIGGS I won’t bring you breakfast if you’re going to waste it.
    SPOONER I abhor waste.
    Briggs goes out.
    I have known this before. The door unlocked. The entrance of a stranger. The offer of alms. The shark in the harbour.
    Silence.
    Briggs enters carrying a tray. On the tray are breakfast dishes covered by silver lids and a bottle of champagne in a bucket.
    He places the tray on a small table and brings a chair to the table.
    BRIGGS Scrambled eggs. Shall I open the champagne?
    SPOONER Is it cold?
    BRIGGS Freezing.
    SPOONER Please open it.
    Briggs begins to open bottle. Spooner lifts lids, peers, sets lids aside, butters toast.
    SPOONER Who is the cook?
    BRIGGS We share all burdens, Jack and myself.
    Briggs pours champagne. Offers glass. Spooner sips.
    Pause.
    SPOONER Thank you.
    Spooner begins to eat. Briggs draws up a chair to the table and sits, watching.
    BRIGGS We’re old friends, Jack and myself. We met at a street corner. I should tell you he’ll deny this account. His story will be different. I was standing at a street corner. A car drew up. It washim. He asked me the way to Bolsover Street. I told him Bolsover Street was in the middle of an intricate one-way system. It was a one-way system easy enough to get into. The only trouble was that, once in, you couldn’t get out. I told him his best bet, if he really wanted to get to Bolsover Street, was to take the first left, first right, second right, third on the left, keep his eye open for a hardware shop, go right round the square, keeping to the inside lane, take the second mews on the right and then stop. He will find himself facing a very tall office block, with a crescent courtyard. He can take advantage of this office block. He can go round the crescent, come out the other way, follow the arrows, go past two sets of traffic lights and take the next left indicated by the first green filter he comes across. He’s got the Post Office Tower in his vision the whole time. All he’s got to do is to reverse into the underground car park, change gear, go straight on, and he’ll find himself in Bolsover Street with no trouble at all. I did warn him, though, that he’ll still be faced with the problem, having found Bolsover Street, of losing it. I told him I knew one or two people who’d been wandering up and down Bolsover Street for years. They’d