Free The Love Letters: A Novella by Ashley Pullo Page A

Afghanistan.
    I work mostly with Navy officers in the medical unit, but we share resources and housing with officers from every branch of the military, and a small number of civilian administrators. Tonight we have a challenging playoff game with the dickheads in the Army, and then our holiday surf ‘n turf meal will be served up, desert-style. Don’t ask, don’t tell – the motto of the mysterious lobster in a landlocked country.
    “Fuck yeah! I hate those guys,” I say, labeling a box of steroid cream. I don’t really hate anyone, but it’s important to keep an image.
    “Damn straight! What time will you be done?” Fisher asks.
    “Bro, I have like five hundred tubes to label and scan. I’ll meet you on the court around five.”
    “Fucking assholes! Okay, I have a root canal and two bicuspid implants. Later, Parker.”
    Fisher is from Texas but doesn’t have a twang or a drawl. In fact, most of the time he speaks like Eminem from the mean streets of Detroit. It’s all about the image, yo.
    I finish up my last box of fungal cream and check off a few of the inventory requests to be shipped to Kandahar. Huh – that’s odd. Ten requests for Zovirax . . . awesome, a herpes outbreak. And, my work here is done.
    I take my laptop into the adjacent storage closet to read my emails. An office chair was in here when I arrived, so I’m not the first one to use this space as a quiet retreat.
    To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re: Elf
    Just so you know, the UPS guy asked me out. Stay tuned.
    Chloe’s here! She’s staying with me until the New Year, but I’m trying to devise a sneaky plan to get her to move in with me permanently. Remember how I told you she’s on tour with a band? Well she is.
    We’re going to Connecticut tomorrow, and I promise I will stop by and annoy your dad. Maybe I’ll tell him I’m pregnant and need some money for diapers and shit . . .
    Hey, remember when I put your ball sac in my mouth and I sucked on your nuts like a greedy little squirrel? Good times.
    Molly says “hi!”
    I actually like putting your balls in my mouth. Hearing you moan like a woman is such a turn on.
    I saw the movie Elf with Will Farrell. Hilarious! You would love it, and I heard a rumor that Peter Billingsley (the guy who played Ralphie in A Christmas Story) is in the beginning. I didn’t see him, but I was too busy shoving Junior Mints and popcorn in my mouth.
    Okay, I have to get back to work before my VACATION!! Have a great game and kick the Army’s ass.
    XO
Nat
    PS-I turned the UPS guy down.
    To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re: UPS guy?
    Nice try. I know for a fact that the UPS guy is Raul Sanchez. He’s married with two kids and lives in Long Island City.
    Hey, I read somewhere about this company that can make a plaster mold of a penis and then create a silicone dildo for your pleasure. Interested?
    Tell Molly thank you for the cigarette lighter and the package of socks. Can you also tell her I’m not in 1970-Vietnam?
    Chloe sounds hot!
    xo
Z
    To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Re: Zach dildo
    Of course I’m interested. Let me know when it’s in production . . . I’m sure there are plenty of people willing to fly to Afghanistan during a war to make a mold of your penis.
    And maybe it was a FedEx guy. Don’t be jealous.
    Okay, I have to pack now!
    XO
Nat
    I shut down my laptop and return it to its case. I really need to start some sort of electronics detox because in a few weeks, it won’t be this easy to just read an email on the fly. I hurry back to my quarters on the north side of camp after stopping by the bazaar for a last-minute gift.
    Fisher and I have two beds, one desk, and a small sink and mirror. We also have a 13” television that shows crap from the Armed Forces Network. The room itself is actually quite accommodating for our needs and I try to focus on the positive . . . like my trunk full of pictures and letters from