Free The Everything Box by Richard Kadrey Page A

Some were simple spreadsheets with names and office assignments. Other sheets looked like complex astrological charts by way of NASA eggheads. Coop dropped them on the table.
    â€œI was going over these last night.”
    â€œAnd what do you think? Can we do the job?”
    â€œNo.”
    â€œWhat?” said Morty. He choked on a mouthful of burger and grabbed a cup of coffee to keep from passing out, only to end up burning his tongue. “Whuh doo ya min we cand doo id?”
    Coop smacked him on the back.
    â€œWhat do you mean we can’t do it? We told Mr. Babylon we would. I don’t want to go back there with bad news and have him shoot me with one of those heat ray guns.”
    â€œDon’t worry. It was a liquefaction curse. There wasn’t any heat involved.”
    â€œOh. That makes me feel better. You can remind me of that when housekeeping is sponging me off the floor.”
    â€œRelax,” said Coop. “I said we couldn’t do it. I didn’t say it couldn’t be done. It’s just that I was hoping to keep the job between us. Split the money two ways. With the bonus, we’d have made a hundred and fifty K each.”
    â€œBut we need more people.”
    Coop nodded. He tore open a burger and took a bite. It was good. The best thing he’d eaten in eighteen months.
    â€œHow many more people?” said Morty.
    â€œThat’s what I’ve been thinking about. If these blueprints are accurate, there’s serious corporate security all through the building. Curses. Labyrinths. That kind of thing. Then there’s pass codes on all the locks, plus video surveillance and armed guards.”
    â€œSound like we’re going to need a small army.”
    â€œThat would be helpful.”
    Morty set down his burger. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
    â€œDon’t be like that,” said Coop. “I’ve been going over this all night. I think maybe we can pull this off with four people. The right four people.”
    Morty sat back up in his chair. “Four’s not so bad. How much is three hundred thousand divided by four?”
    â€œSeventy-five thousand dollars each.”
    Morty picked up his burger and took a bite. “As far as bad news goes, that ain’t bad.”
    â€œYou’re right. It could be a lot worse.” Coop worked on his burger and fries, pushing the pages around on the table for something like the fiftieth time that day.
    â€œSo, who are the other two people we need?”
    Coop finished his burger, wadded up the paper and tossed it overhand at the kitchen trash. It bounced off the rim, skittered acrossa counter, bounced off a sugar bowl back toward the trash. And missed it by an inch. Story of my life, he thought as he walked into the kitchen to throw the paper away.
    He said, “We’re off to an okay start. You can flash and I can crack, so we have the locks and the safe taken care of. What we need is a good eyeball person to look out for traps and a getaway person to get us out of there.”
    â€œJust a Handyman and a Marilyn? That’s all?”
    â€œNo. We can get the box with us and those other two, but there’s the small matter of getting away at the end,” said Coop.
    â€œYeah. I vote we get away. Any dissents? No? The motion is carried.”
    Coop opened one of the ketchup containers, dipped some of his fries, and ate them. He chewed slowly and thoroughly.
    â€œYou still chewing your cud over there?” said Morty. “I’m not going to have to milk you later, am I?”
    Coop shook his head. “Sorry. Tell me something. Who’s the biggest rat bastard you know?”
    â€œLike someone I don’t particularly like or someone who should get run down by a bus?”
    â€œA bus.”
    Morty’s face went blank. Coop was starting to think that maybe he’d given the poor guy a stroke when Morty smiled. “Fast Eddie Lansdale,” he