Free jinn 03.5 - without a map by Liz Schulte

 
    “You know you want to, Charlie,” Baker coaxed.
    Staring at the book in my hands, I refused to look at my brother’s big lopsided grin. “Last time I went along with your brilliant plan, Dad like literally burst into flames. Hard pass.”
    Not at all deterred, Baker leaned his back against the kitchen island—where I was trying to study—and plucked the book out of my hands. “Dad has unresolved anger issues.”
    I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. My brother appeared to be your typical fourteen year old, all arms and legs, but there wasn’t anything typical about anyone in my family. Baker took great joy in pushing Dad’s buttons and Mom never really seemed to mind—probably because she knew him in his past life. As I said we weren’t normal. I looked into his gray eyes. “No.”
    His head dropped back as he rolled his eyes dramatically. “You’re such a daddy’s girl.” I scowled in return. “YOLO and crap.”
    Baker still had four years until he’d remember his past lives—I didn’t have that luxury. None of us were positive how old I actually was. I couldn’t remember and was small in stature so they guessed. Carrying the Seal of Solomon wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. I had the capability to remember everything from all of my lives and frankly, as far as I could tell, most of them sucked. Demons had me for a long time—not just at the beginning of this life, but many, many before it. However, the real problem was while all the memories lived inside of me, they weren’t a continuous stream of thought. One moment I’d be fine and then the next something would trigger a crippling experience that would leave me raw and broken. So, for survival purposes, compartmentalizing was something, with my parents’ help, I’d become very good at.
    Even now, fourteen years later—fourteen wonderful years—the panic would strike at unexpected time. My heart would race, my hands tingled, and the world felt like it was crushing me. So many of those early nights and days after Holden saved me, he would find me hiding in the closet or under the bed with my eyes squeezed shut. He never said anything about it, mostly he was just there until the tension melted away. Whether it was his presence that calmed me down or his influence over my emotions or just the fact that I felt safe with him didn’t matter. Through him I could piece back together my fractured sense of self. Holden chose to be my father. The first one I had had in a very long time.
    Together with my mom, Olivia, they figured out how to help me. They had given me hope and I wasn’t about to repay them by acting like a brat—even if that made me boring. Because of them I could live a semi-normal life—at least as normal as normal could be for me.
    “Let’s review your plan. You want me skip my final test, steal mom and dad’s car, drive you to Chicago so you can see some lame band, and then what?” I made a swipe for my book, but he held it out of my reach.
    “Not stealing, borrowing .” He grinned again. “And then maybe for the first time in your life, you could have a little fun. You’ve heard of fun, right? Maybe you read about other people who have fun.”
    “Maybe hanging out with you, isn’t as much fun as you think.”
    He pursed his lips in consideration. “No, I’m pretty sure it is. It’s a road trip, Charlie. Not the end of the world. Just me and my big sister before she abandons me for college and hopefully gets a life.”
    I shook my head. “I’ll still be here.” Sometimes Baker was entirely too intuitive, but there was no way he could know what I was considering.
    He stood up, sensing weakness, and slung his arm over my shoulder. “But you will. Someday you will break up our happy little family. Even you, Miss Perfect, can’t stay here forever.”
    I laughed though I didn’t feel it. I didn’t want to leave. Holden and Olivia were the only two people who could actually protect me, but if I had a