Free Sidekicks by Dan Danko, Tom Mason, Barry Gott Page B

swatting-wave, you know? Two birds, one stone, and stuff. I’m kinda embarrassed to admit it, but before I became a sidekick, well, I kinda had Charisma Kid’s poster on my wall.
    Okay, I wasn’t one of those geeks who lived in their parents’ basement. And I only had three posters. One of Charisma Kid and one of King Justice. The third was of Lipstick Lydia. It was on the inside of my closet door. You know how parents are about that kinda stuff.
    It wasn’t a far run from the Clubhouse to the League of Big Justice. In fact, the Sidekick Clubhouse was in the deserted lot directly behind the League of Big Justice and under the city’s power cables. Something about property being beneath a jillion volts makes rent cheap and stuff. And everyone figures we’re already mutated, so what the heck.
    Beatrice and I raced under the League of Big Justice Super Justice Arch and through the League of Big Justice Super Justice Revolving Door. The League of Big Justice Super Justice Lobby was empty.
    Okay, I just gotta stop the excitement roller coaster right here for a sec. I mean, this is the League of Big Justice: the most awesome assemblage of superheroes the world has ever known, all under one super roof.
    King Justice. Lady Bug. Captain Haggis. The Stain. Mr. Ironic. The Good Egg. Ms. Mime. Depression Dave. The Librarian. And my own sponsor, Pumpkin Pete.
    Every time I walk down the Hall of Heroes of Big Justice or past the League of Big Justice Souvenir Gift Shop, a chill runs down my spine. How could it not? Time and time again, these guys bail out the earth from alien invasions, mad scientists, robot armies, evil plots, and just plain nasty people. And now I’m one of them: or at least a sidekick to one of them.
    Okay, it’s Pumpkin Pete, but hey, we take what we can, right?
    What surprise attack would make the League of Big Justice turn to me and Beatrice for help? What could possibly defeat them?
    Nothing. That’s why my palms were getting so sweaty.
    We slapped our hands on the FingerPrintronic. After our prints gave a positive ID, a laser shot out from the wall and scanned our retinas for a positive match.
    I could hear the door to the League of Big Justice Inner Sanctum of Justice slide open. I turned and ran directly into the wall. It happens every time. That laser eye scan is like ten grandmas taking pictures with flashbulbs five inches from your face. The big, glowing red spots usually last for two minutes.
    Beatrice and I, still half-blind, shuffled into the Inner Sanctum of Justice.
    “Hey! Great to see you! You’re looking swell.”
    It was Charisma Kid. Even if I was completely blind, I could tell his voice: the voice of honor, the voice of courage, the voice that went with the confidence of a really great smile. “We need your help, Speedy.”
    Oh ...my... gosh! Did he just say my code name? Charisma Kid — the Charisma Kid — knows who I am!
    “Yessir! Speedy! That’s —”
    “No time for chitchat, rookie!” Charisma cut in. “Are you ready to fight the forces of evil?”
    The forces of evil? Oh man! If I thought fighting evil was cool, fighting the forces of
anything
was, like, the ultimate!
    “Yessir!” Beatrice and I both enthused back.
    The red spots in my eyes began to fade and I could vaguely see CK’s (that’s what his friends called him) face. I think it’s okay for me to call him CK. I
am
one of the inner circle.
    “Here,” he said, slapping something spongy in my hand. “You’ll need this!”
    “Shouldn’t we wait a few seconds until Beatrice and I can see better?” I asked, worried about battling the forces of evil with a big red spot in the middle of its face.
    “Wait? Wait!?” CK exploded with near disgust. “Evil never sleeps in.”
    Wow. He
was
the coolest.
    “I’m a little worried,” Beatrice whispered to me as we ran after CK. “I left my Scrabble tiles back at the Clubhouse.”
    “Befuddle them with some palindromes,” I replied.
    We burst through some double