Free Storky by D. L. Garfinkle

Lips told her to get a grip. I forced myself not to think about Sydney’s grip.
    Sydney stood near my locker today after school, but I pretended to be in a big hurry to get home. I’m not asking her to the Snowball or anywhere else.

Thursday, November 25
    So tired. I laid awake most of last night stressing over the Rex Incident. For all I know, Sydney wrote up the whole story for the school paper or broadcast it all over the Internet. I was half expecting to find Rex’s picture in the San Diego newspaper today, with the headline Local Boy Finds High School Exciting.
    I’m also tired from eating so much. Mom ordered a big Thanksgiving dinner from Albertsons and invited all these people over, and I pigged out. Albertsons sure is better than Mom’s cooking. Duke was supposed to come, but he has strep throat. If I was a decent human being, I’d go visit him.
     
    MY IMPRESSIONS OF THE PEOPLE THERE
    1. Dr. Vermin . Minus 2. Tried to take over my job of cutting the turkey. I can just see him moving in.
    2. Mom . Plus 5. Nice of her to invite Nate and his mom, the walking ashtray. Great idea not to try cooking again—especially after last year’s pink turkey disaster.
    3. Aunt Marsha . Minus 1. Pretty pathetic. You could tell she was missing June the whole time. Wish she’d meet a nice lesbian lady. I wonder where they find each other anyway.
    4. Nate . Plus 6. Denied hearing any rumors about me and Spanish class. He goes, “Anyway, I know more about you than some gossiphead.” He also deserves points for putting up with his mom.
    5. Nate’s mom . Minus 6. Half the night she stood in the backyard puffing away on her cancer sticks. The other half she chugged red wine. I bet she drank a whole bottle.
    6. Grandma . Minus 8. Spent the night insulting people, especially Mom. Said the kitchen counter needed re-grouting, called my table manners primitive. Told Mom she’d be better off in cooking school than law school. Actually made me feel sorry for Mom.
    7. Amanda . Plus 3. Did this phony toast to Mom. Said she’s this great role model for going to law school and hosting Grandma and everyone right before her finals.
     
     
    I wonder what it’s like at Golden Village tonight. I hope they served turkey. And a Jell-O mold thing for those dentally challenged.
    I hope Duke’s okay.

Friday, November 26
    THINGS TO DO WITHOUT A TV
    1. Read a book.
    2. Visit Duke.
    3. Memorize Scrabble words.
    4. Lift weights.
    5. Stare at Victoria’s Secret catalog again.
    6. Watch TV at Nate’s.
    7. Bike to Circuit City and watch TV there.

Sunday, November 28
    Saw Dad without his bimbo delight tonight. The Thighmaster wants him to lose 10 pounds. She’s got him on this diet. Dad has a little tire belly, but it’s not like he’s fat. Since The Thighmaster wasn’t there tonight, me and Dad went to Burger King and each ordered a Double Whopper, fries, onion rings, and a chocolate shake. Sure beats the rabbit food restaurants he’s been taking me to lately.
    He seemed so happy to eat normal food, I got up my nerve to ask him the question. “Dad. Once I turn 15 and get my permit, will you teach me to drive?” He said, “No problem.” Yes!
    I even thought about telling him stuff like my crush on Gina, and my poetry report, and the Rex Incident. But, I don’t know. It seemed like too much work. I wasn’t sure where to start, or how, or why. Plus he didn’t really ask.
    I wish I had something good to say. Like, Hey, Dad, right after I scored the winning soccer goal at the home game, 2 cheerleaders asked me to the Snowball simultaneously. That he’d be interested in.
    We mostly just talked about the food and football.

Monday, November 29
    I hope Sydney Holland keeps her mouth shut about the Rex Incident. She stood by my locker after school, twirling her frizzy hair. I gave her this mini-wave, to let her know I saw her but wasn’t exactly thrilled.
    Luckily I had Nate with me. We were going to bike to his house. He had leftover