Free No Going Back by Erika Ashby Page B

over a month ago. I haven’t heard from her since.” He obviously doesn’t want to get into the details.
    “Huh. Well, she seemed like a fucking winner anyways. It’s probably best for you.” I plop down on my couch and try to pull my damn heeled boots off. Those fuckers are not budging, no matter how many times I yank.
    “Hey, let me help.” Seth kneels down in front of me. I can’t lie; I like the view of him being on his knees in front of me. I see why men are all about it.
    I lift my leg up to him. “Don’t get any crazy ideas mister. These boots are all you’re getting to take off. Got it?” I say, half-serious and half-teasing, because let’s be honest, I’d let him strip me right now if he tried. He lifts his hands up in surrender.
    “You have my word.” He grabs the foot of my boot and pulls it off with ease. I let my head fall back against the couch. Even though I’m exhausted, I don’t want him to leave. I’d be stupid to let him walk out that door tonight. Plus, he deserves to know about our daughter. As much as I don’t want to talk about what happened to her.
    “It was a girl.” I pause, “I had picked out the name Sophia for her…after my grandma, you know? You should see all the frilly stuff in the room I had bought for her.” I pause again, trying to hold the tears back, “I haven’t been able to go into that room since I lost her. I don’t know if I ever will.” I whisper that last part. Seth finally places my foot he’s been holding down and looks up at me. I see the sadness all over his face.
    “I’ll go with you when you’re ready. If you want.”
    “Not yet. Maybe not ever. Tonight I just want to forget. Just make me forget tonight, Seth. Stay with me...please.” He grabs my hands but doesn’t say anything. “Please.” I’m not usually a beggar and I might regret this in the morning, but right now I need him. I need him tonight in whatever way he will let me have him. He finally looks up at me and slowly lets my leg down before he stands up. Before I can beg again, he scoops me up and is carrying me to my room.
    It’s not a far walk from the living room to my bedroom, and not once did he take his eyes off of mine the whole way there. He makes his way to my bed and he lightly lays me down. He sits on the edge of my bed beside me and starts unbuttoning my shirt. Yet he still never takes his eyes away from mine. Once my shirt is fully open his eyes trail down my body. I can feel the warmth of his gaze as he takes in every inch of me. He lets his fingertips dance the same trail that his eyes just etched into me. They hoover over the button of my skirt before they skip over it and then land on my knee and reverse their way back up my thigh instead. The feather light touch from his fingertips feels like a volt of electricity shooting through my body, awakening every single nerve ending that I had thought would need a complete rewiring.
    I can’t help the little moans that escape my mouth as his hand trails past the edge of my skirt, and he leans over and starts lightly kissing my bare skin from where my shirt has opened. This isn’t typical raw Seth. He’s more of a rowdy type in the bed, not slow and sensual. I’m desperate to feel him though. I want every inch of him molded to my body. I want him to feel me up so that maybe my void will not feel so empty. I know it’s only temporary, but I need it.
    “Seth,” I moan. “I need you in me. I want you in me.” I can’t hide the desperation I have for him at this very moment. I might look weak, but right now I could care less. I don’t care if he knows how vulnerable I truly am. I’m not afraid to show him that side of me. Not now anyways. He’s already seen every side of me, every side that I’ve kept hidden from anyone and everyone.
    “Shhh.” He kisses his way up the center of my chest making his way to my neck. “This is what you need Mal. I’m going to show you what I feel for you by making you feel.