Free No Going Back by Erika Ashby

protective hand on her shoulder. Are they fucking dating? Obviously. I’m sure if I wouldn’t have gotten in the way at that damn banquet for the fire departments then they would already be married with a couple little rugrats of their own running around. I quickly shake that thought out of my mind. She’s carrying my child, and she’s out at the fucking bar living like a sorority chick. This shit doesn’t fly in my book. I’m not one to talk about making the right choices and what not, but this one, I can’t keep my mouth shut about.
    “Are you drunk?” The words fly from my mouth. Does this woman have no damn conscience? She didn’t even bother to tell me she was pregnant in the first place. I get that both times she came to me to do so I shot her down, but damn, a man deserves to know he’s going to be a dad. Doesn’t he?
    “What’s it matter to you? It’s not like you care,” she spat at me then turned around to Nick quietly telling him something. With a nod of the head he turned away and walked off. Good, I wasn’t going to get all personal in front of him. None of this is his damn business. “Seriously Seth, what do you want?” She rolls her eyes while crossing her arms.
    I close the space between us causing her to shudder at the nearness, “Are you supposed to be drinking while you’re pregnant?” I say low enough for no one else to hear. Like it’d be possible anyways. We are in a bar, still standing in the middle of the damn dance floor.
    She looks up at me with a painful expression across her face and tears forming in her eyes. “I lost the baby,” she whispers before running past me. In her high heeled boots of course.
    Taking a second to fully catch what she had said, I turn to follow her. I see her push through the back exit of the bar and I quicken my pace. Only to be stopped by Nick stepping out in front of me. “Dude, fucking move.”
    He crosses his arms, taking a protective stance like he’s actually going to be able to hold me back. “I know I can’t keep you from chasing after her,” he admits, “but just know you fucked her up pretty bad and everything that’s happened with the baby has been extremely difficult. This is the first night she’s been able to go out since the accident, and it wasn’t an easy task convincing her. Go figure you have to fucking show up to bring back all the damn memories.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “You do need to talk to her, but I swear to God if you hurt her again I will beat your ass. She deserves to be treated right.” I nod in agreement and go around him to find Mallory.
    The sniffling leads me around to the side of the bar where Mallory is sitting on the curb of the sidewalk. I walk over and slowly sit down beside her. All I want to do is wrap her in my arms and comfort her, letting her cry her worries away into my chest, but I refrain. It’s not my place. From the looks of it, it’s now Nick’s.
    “I wanted to tell you,” she cries. “I wanted to tell you at the wedding, at Jesika and Derek’s. I was gonna tell you, and then that — that bitch showed up, and I just couldn’t.” She looks over at me as she wipes the tears from her face. It’s taking every fiber of strength in me to keep my hands grasped together in my lap instead of using them to wipe away the visible pain she is shedding. Letting out a defeated sigh, she continues, “Then I tried again, when I showed up at your, umm, wedding. We both know how that turned out.”
    “Why didn’t you just tell me you were pregnant, Mal? It could have changed everything.” Who am I kidding; I don’t know what it could have changed at the time. I mean I was dealing with a situation of my own. A situation I was conned into, and lost everything that was of true importance to me because of it.
    “I didn’t want you to want me because I was fucking pregnant. Are you kidding me? I wanted you to want me on your own Seth. I wanted you to choose me...but you didn’t. I was