Free Outrageously Alice by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor Page B

around and around on the table between his fingers. “ Promise you won’t get mad?”
    I began to feel uneasy. “I said I wouldn’t.”
    “Well, the girls went inside once, all except you. You stretched out on the picnic table and fell asleep for a few minutes.”
    I vaguely remembered lying down on the picnic table, my sweatshirt folded up under my head, and I guess I did drift off. It was a warm day, and I was really out of it.
    I looked over at Patrick. His face was turning pink.
    “What happened?” I asked suspiciously.
    “Well … I was just horsing around, see … you were asleep, and … it was just a joke, Alice, honest!”
    “Patrick … ?”
    “I took two lemon halves and set them on your breasts.”
    I blinked. I tried to imagine myself the center of attention on Mark’s picnic table, snoring , even, with two lemon halves turned upside down, like cones, on my breasts, and all the guys laughing.
    “Patrick!” I said again.
    “I only left them on for a couple of seconds.”
    “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
    “You think the guys would tell you? The girls never saw.”
    I shoved my drink away. “Patrick, when I got home that day I couldn’t figure out why there were these stains on my T-shirt. I thought something was the matter with me, like I was lactating or something.”
    “See? I told you you’d be mad.”
    “But it was so stupid!”
    “Well, you wanted stupid.”
    I was infuriated. “All this time you never told me.”
    “You never asked.”
    “How could I ask? I was asleep.”
    “That’s just it. I couldn’t tell you, because you were asleep.”
    Was this a dumb argument, or what?
    “If you were asleep, Alice, you couldn’t be embarrassed. And if you’re embarrassed now, it’s useless, because everyone’s forgotten it already.”
    “Girls don’t forget things. We remember them forever. They become a part of us, Patrick. They stick to us like Velcro.” I picked up my shoulder bag. “I’m ready to go.”
    “See? You’re mad.”
    “I’m disappointed in you,” I said gravely, just like my dad.
    “Well, I won’t do it again. It was dumb, and I’m sorry.”
    I didn’t feel like letting him off that easy, though. I guess I wanted him to shave his head, crawl to school and back on his hands and knees, and promise he’d never do it again. But then I remembered how close I’d felt to Dad after he’d forgiven me.
    “Okay,” I said to Patrick. “Apology accepted.”

9
RELIGION AND SEX
    ON SATURDAY, CRYSTAL HARKINS CAME over to take me to her aunt’s for my fitting. I’d told Marilyn at the Melody Inn that morning that I was going to be in Crystal’s wedding, and she’d said, “Have fun!” I never saw a woman so happy about another woman’s wedding plans. As soon as Crystal was out of the picture, Marilyn would have Lester all to herself.
    It felt really strange to be in this grown-up world of weddings and fittings and measurements and stuff.
    “Ready?” she asked, when I answered the door. “You’re going to love your dress, Alice. It looks great! Danny was asking about you.”
    “Who’s Danny?” I wanted to know, climbing in the car beside her.
    “The guy you’ll be paired with in the procession. Peter’s brother.”
    “What’s he like?”
    “Well, next to Peter, of course, he’s probably the handsomest guy in the world. Just kidding. But he’s a real hunk.”
    I gave a nervous giggle. Whenever I’m nervous, I giggle. I imagined walking down the aisle on my own wedding day, giggling. It would be just like me.
    “Are you nervous?” I asked her. “About the wedding and everything?”
    She laughed.
    “I’m nervous about the wedding, all right, but what’s ‘everything’?”
    “Oh, you know. What comes after.”
    “The wedding night? Sex?” She laughed again. “No. Not really.”
    I was quiet and stared out my side window.
    “Anything on your mind, Alice?” Crystal asked, and I remembered that this was the woman who had rescued me once