Free Intentionality by Rebekah Johnson Page A

whispered.
    She does appear to be honestly upset about the situation and not just a little bit frustrated by the sudden rescheduling. That makes me recall The Captain with his unannounced visit. She really is a small fish in a very large pond! How the table has turned, now I am feeling sorry for her. She is stuck in a loop. Not having the decision process at her command. The result is Mrs Alder, ‘island of knowledge, team of one’.
    â€œI have understood you Mrs Alder. You as my mentor have given me some very clear choices, for that I am grateful. I am obviously feeling extremely hostile towards the idea of repeating the class again, in turn raising my hopes each year, if actually my full potential power will never be of a premium. I agree that my disability is perhaps the place to apportion blame. However we shall never know about the cost of the rescheduling on my development either. It may only take another few months for me to be matured to the required threshold. I am hesitating to commit because I am not sure what a teaching post here in The Nest would entail. Would I even be suitable for that? You seem so very focussed and in tune with your students. I can imagine passing out in front of my pupils, during that information screening for instance,” I questioned.
    â€œThat is a valid point Mae and it’s still not a certainty that you will be the only Seeder to fail the Ascension test. As you know two of your fellow candidates are in no fit state either. If they are to repeat, then perhaps you will feel comfortable to do so. If that really is not the option for you, then I do have the authority to organise a visit to your initial teaching placement if you like. Of course you would not be expected to teach Seeders initially. You would be assigned to teach basic reading, writing, mathematics and the sciences to the Mono children. I am scheduled to have a planning meeting with the teacher in charge tomorrow. You can think about your options overnight then meet me at the entrance to the Mono quarters in the morning. They register for eight o’clock, work through until lunch and then are timetabled for a safety talk on Deck Zero in preparation for their diving lessons next week,” Mrs Alder informed me.
    With that she opened the door and I walked into the path of the rest of my life. Lily and I shall have to talk about this later. She is already anxious about the monitors catching my conversation with Willem. I saw her face as I was called to stay back at the end of class. I honestly think she was more frightened than me! Thanks to my new and improved ability to cloak my transmissions to her and of course Willem, I have been able keep many aspects of my life from her recently. I suppose without doing it on purpose I have been trying to prepare her for our imminent separation.
    As the door to our pod slid open, I could see that Lily had been intensely searching for my communications. It hurts me to keep her in the dark and it physically tires her to search in vain. I think it may be the same as trying to tune in a radio for hours on end; it’s exhausting and frustrating.
    â€œLily come sit with me on the bed. I have decisions to make that will alter our lives. I want you to know that I am attempting with all of my heart to remain by your side and I will continue to do that for as long as I am able. Mrs Alder has spoken to me and it’s not what you were worried about. No one saw me talking to Willem. Absolutely no one, but you and he know about our extra gift. I won’t make the requirements for Ascension Lily. You and I both knew that already. It’s not such a shock but unexpectedly I do have options.”
    Lily didn’t move, shout, cry, stomp or rock as I spoke. She seemed to hover weightlessly above the bed. Not daring I suppose to question, as that would inevitably create a new path for the future.
    â€œI shall be fine Lily. It’s not like I’m in any danger here.