Free Intentionality by Rebekah Johnson

to Lily!
    It’s going black again. I can’t feel my fingers or toes. I am drowning in the air, can’t Mrs Alder see!
    Quite unexpectedly my head is an open room, there is no buzz, and I am devoid of the murmur. In its place there are my thoughts alone. This place is barren. I neither like it nor feel at home in it. I always thought that the buzzing was a brake to my learning process but now it has been taken away, I can see it has been the anchor, I desperately want it back.
    â€œMae, I need you to choose a path, one that you would like to follow if you fail to ascend at The Harvest. Do you understand?” interrupted Mrs Alder.
    I had never really heard her tone before. It isn’t harsh at all; it’s actually quite soft and motherly.
    â€œAm I being punished? I only went to Deck Zero to find some torches for the Graduation Ball,” I admitted.
    â€œNo dear child, I have once again calculated your rate of progress following the latest brain scan and it is with that information I am formulating a way forward for you, from what I predict to be a devastating time. I have always been here to guide you girls. I care for you as if you are my own. The thought that one of you will be separated is almost too much to contemplate,” revealed Mrs Alder
    I open the piece of carefully folded paper, beautifully inscribed with my name. It looks very much like a list of gifts to be considered with delight. Number One is completely out of the question. I will not and cannot bring myself to start the year over with a new enhanced learning group. Number Two is equally dismal and unimaginable, but infinitely better than what I expect Number One will turn into and that predictably is my repeated failure to ascend, initiating my perpetual return to the beginning of the accelerated class, following every Harvest.
    Number Two sees me as a young Mrs Alder, staying in The Nest. I would be trained to become a nurturing teacher, watching groups of Seeders succeeding where I could only fail. This option however alien is one that would, I assume give me the freedom to leave. I assume that I shall be classed as an Acer, and therefore be free to leave The Nest on occasion, possibly birthdays and such to visit Lily. Maybe there is a way to communicate with Lily via the internet each day, so that I can share in her experiences, also there is of course the vague possibility that once I am off the conveyor belt of pressurised learning, I can focus more on my natural skills. Maybe I can adapt a way of transmitting across a long range to Lily. That way we can both move on secure in the knowledge that we are both safe and well. I could then be of value down here in The Nest. I do after all have a communication gift. What better way to put that to use than through teaching.
    â€œMrs Alder, I really appreciate your consideration, I know that I have not been the easiest and most rewarding student. Like you say it’s difficult to be conversant and logical with a constant drone in your mind. For my piece of mind, I really need to try to pass the Ascension test to be with Lily. You see it’s not just my future to consider here. Lily and I have a bond that goes beyond the usual friendship. We…”
    â€œMae, I think that you misunderstood. I have no authority to allow you to miss The Harvest. You are a candidate with a reference code that must be engaged during The Harvest process. If that code is not activated then security will be alerted and The Harvest closed for further investigation. I can ask you to prepare yourself for the inevitable. Your scores are not improving quickly enough. In basic terms Mae, the power you emit is not of a high enough value to Intentionality at this moment in time. I have no doubt that the date change has everything to do with your predicament but I am in no position of authority to demand that the date be rearranged. I am so very sorry Mae, you must be devastated,” Mrs Alder