Free MONOLITH by Shaun Hutson

throat.
    ‘I feel as if I’ve, I don’t know, betrayed him,’ she said, her voice catching.
    ‘Don’t be silly, dear,’ Margaret offered. ‘You didn’t do anything.’
    ‘No, that’s the trouble, I didn’t.’
    Again a heavy silence fell across the two of them, finally broken when Margaret got to her feet. She made her way towards the kitchen. Jess rose and followed her, the smell of cooking food filling the air.
    ‘You must remember the things Dad said,’ Jess went on.
    ‘I told you, Jess, towards the end he was different. He wanted different things. You can’t change any of that now.’
    ‘It doesn’t stop me feeling guilty about it.’
    Margaret turned to face her daughter.
    ‘There’s nothing for you to feel guilty about,’ she said with as much force in her voice as she could muster. ‘You’ve done nothing wrong. Neither of us did. It’s what Dad wanted.’
    ‘Well it’s too late to do anything about it now, isn’t it?’ Jess sighed.
    ‘How long have you been thinking about this?’
    ‘Since his funeral.’
    ‘Jess, you can’t think like that, dear, you really can’t. You’re not being fair on yourself.’
    Jess didn’t answer. She merely watched as her mother took vegetables from the pots on the hob and drained them, spooning out portions onto the waiting plates.
    ‘Why have you waited this long before you said something?’ Margaret enquired, placing more food on the plates.
    Jess shrugged.
    ‘I wasn’t going to say anything at all,’ she answered. ‘I wish I hadn’t.’
    ‘You were right to say what was on your mind. It doesn’t do any good bottling things up.’
    ‘And what good is it going to do telling you how I feel? It isn’t going to change anything, is it?’
    Margaret put a plate full of food in front of Jess then sat down opposite.
    ‘It’s better to talk, dear,’ Margaret assured her. ‘You always bottled things up even when you were growing up, I know that.’
    ‘I used to tell Dad sometimes if something was bothering me,’ Jess smiled. ‘I suppose I just miss being Daddy’s girl.’
    ‘You two could always find things to talk about,’ Margaret said. ‘He used to say you were more like mates than father and daughter.’
    ‘He always encouraged me no matter what I was doing.’ Jess smiled. ‘You did too, Mum.’ The words were almost like an afterthought.
    Margaret shook her head.
    ‘I know that, Jess but I know your dad was the one who really pushed you,’ she went on. ‘He wanted so much for you. He was so proud when you got your first job on a National paper. He said he’d known all along you’d do it. We always believed in you, you know that.’
    Margaret smiled.
    Jess just nodded.
    ‘There’s nothing wrong with missing him, Jess,’ Margaret said, softly. ‘I do too.’
    Jess was about to start eating when she heard her mobile. She glanced down at it and saw that the caller i.d. was showing Spike. For a second she wondered about letting it go to voice mail but, as it kept ringing she finally snatched it up.
    Margaret watched her evenly across the table.
    ‘When?’ Jess said into the mouthpiece.
    Margaret chewed slowly on a piece of food, her eyes never leaving her daughter.
    ‘Is that all you know?’ Jess said, her expression darkening. There was more chatter at the other end of the line then Jess ended the call. ‘Mum,’ she sighed, looking at Margaret. ‘I’m going to have to go.’
    ‘Oh no, dear, not in the middle of dinner,’ Margaret said, wearily but Jess was already on her feet. ‘Can’t it wait?’
    Jess shook her head, trying to force a smile.
    ‘I wish it could,’ she said.
    They said a hurried goodbye and Jess paused on the doorstep.
    ‘I’ll ring you later, Mum,’ she said.
    ‘You ring me when you can, dear,’ Margaret said. ‘I know you’re busy. I just wish you didn’t have to rush off now.’
    Jess nodded, managed a smile then turned away without looking back. She didn’t think she could bear