Free Suicide Med by Freida McFadden

icy water, the water filling my lungs.
    Drowning slowly.
    A noise startles me out of my thoughts. My head jerks up and I see a car pulling up beside the bridge. It’s that white Lincoln Continental, the one that spooked me in the parking lot the other day when I was walking with Abe. I’ve seen it a few times since then parked in front of the hospital, and it’s always been empty so I’ve never figured out who belonged to. But now I can see the face of the driver clearly through the windshield.
    It’s my anatomy professor, Dr. Conlon.
    What is he doing here?
    I don’t know what it is, but there’s something odd about the look on my professors face. There’s a dark expression in his eyes that sends shivers down my spine. I realize that he can’t see me, that the branches of a nearby tree are obscuring his view of me. And suddenly, I’m seized by the desperate urge to get the hell out of here before he realizes that I’m standing here. That my life might depend on it.
    Slowly, quietly, I back away. And I don’t feel safe again until I’m back in my car with the engine running.
     
     

Chapter 11              
     
    Our first anatomy exam is today. I didn’t sleep at all last night.
    I meant to sleep. Believe me, it wasn’t my intention at the beginning of the night to stay awake for twenty-four hours straight and leave myself feeling like I’m about to collapse.
    I went to the library yesterday after spending several hours in the lab, going over anatomy. Abe insisted that I leave with him at midnight, and I did it only because I knew he wouldn’t go until I did. But when I got back to my room, I continued studying. My room looks like an anatomy tornado hit. Every time I even contemplated closing my textbooks, it just seemed like there was too much that I didn’t know. By four in the morning, it just felt pointless to try to sleep.
    I’m pretty tired.
    At eight a.m., I change into my green scrubs and join the large group of my classmates in front of the anatomy lab, waiting for the practical portion of the exam to begin. I can almost see the nervous energy radiating from the group. I showered this morning, but it’s obvious many of my classmates didn’t bother. We’re a pretty scruffy group.
    You could probably fill a small lake with the amount of coffee we’ve had to drink this morning. Several dozen of us are clutching identical white Styrofoam cups. This is my fourth cup in the last two hours, and I’m starting to have palpitations. And there’s a very real chance I might wet my pants.
    “Hey, Heather.” It’s Phil, the boy with the messy ponytail that I’d spied on the first day. “You nervous?”
    Obviou sly.
    “I’m just really tired from staying up all night,” I say.
    Phil reaches into his pocket and produces a small container filled with tiny white pills.
    “Want one?” he asks .
    I can’t even conceal my horror. Oh my God. He’s offering me drugs . I feel like I’m in an afterschool special. Well, I’ve learned something from those specials. I’m going to Just Say No!
    “Um, are those…?”
    “Mint-flavored caffeine tablets,” Phil says. “Got ‘em at the gift shop.”
    “Oh,” I say. Damn. Now I’m never going to get to prove I can stay strong in the face of peer pressure. “No, thanks.”
    “Are you sure?” Phil asks . “It’s like drinking a cup of coffee, but you don’t have to pee!”
    I shake my head and wander off in search of Abe. Instead, I find Rachel leaning against the wall, her long dark brown hair hanging loose around her shoulders and obscuring the lettering on her T-shirt. She’s tapping her toes against the floor impatiently, and every few minutes she lets out an irritated sigh.
    Mason i s standing next to Rachel, looking fresh as a daisy. He’s also staring so blatantly at her chest that I can’t help but say something.
    “What are you looking at?” I bark at him.
    Boy, I’m irritable today.
    Mason lifts his eyes and looks at me