Free Victoria Confesses (9781442422469) by Carolyn Meyer

require a regent to govern for you. So now Sir John asserts that he intends be your private secretary.”
    I was stunned. “Private secretary!” I cried. “That’s impossible!”
    â€œVicky, I learned long ago that with Sir John Conroy, nearly anything is possible, once he is determined to have his way.”
    â€œI know,” I agreed sadly. “Sir John has everyone fooled. Only dearest Daisy sees through him, but I’m afraid he will convince Mamma to send her away. Once you’re gone, Daisy is the only person in whom I can confide!” I thought of the little wooden doll, her painted features all but worn away and her costume in rags, that I kept well hidden. “And of course, my dear sweetlittle Fidi doll! She has no advice for me, but she does keep a secret.”

    The rain that had blotted out the sky for several days gave way to puffy white clouds eagerly identified by little Carl as tigers and elephants. Having exhausted himself with running about all day, he was already fast asleep. Now I watched with delight as Feodore bathed DEAR little Elise.
    â€œI prefer to do it myself,” Fidi said, “rather than to delegate the task to our French nursemaid. That shocks Mamma.” She cooed at her little daughter. “And I didn’t hire wet nurses when my children were born, but don’t tell Mamma I nursed them myself! She’d be horrified.”
    Together we listened to Elise recite her bedtime prayers that included blessings asked for everyone in her family and even for dear little Dashy—VERY amusing—and then we tiptoed away to a quiet alcove. Soon we would have to dress for dinner. It was a peaceful moment, but the time was slipping away, the days passing far too quickly, and I had already begun to despair of my sister’s departure. There were so many things we had not yet spoken of.
    â€œMamma still treats me like a child!” I burst out as soon as we had sat down. “I can’t even choose what to wear, because Mamma insists on dressing me like a little girl. I may be small, but I’m not a child! I have no friends of my own choosing. Sir John wants his daughter Victoire to be my bosom friend, but she is not. I can’t talk to her about anything of even the slightest importance, because she will immediately report every word to Sir John. With Victoire there is no such thing as a confidence.” Once I’d begun to pour my heart out to my sister, I could notseem to stop. “It’s terrible, Fidi! Would you speak to Mamma? She might listen to you.”
    â€œShe won’t listen to me, I promise you. But I shall write to Uncle Leopold. Perhaps he can help.”
    â€œIt does no good to complain to Uncle Leopold! Mamma doesn’t listen to him either. She listens only to Sir John and reminds me that I must be grateful for all he does for us.”
    Fidi tutted. “Unfortunately, Mamma is completely under Sir John’s domination. I had hoped, for your sake, that the situation might have changed, but obviously it has not.” My sister jumped up, seized my hands in hers, and pulled me to my feet. “I have an idea, Vicky! Let’s go for a walk in the garden.”
    I hung back. “We’re expected at dinner soon—another dull one. Daisy will be looking for me when it’s time to go down.”
    â€œDoes Lehzen still hold your hand whenever you go down the stairs?”
    I had been fighting back tears, but now they flowed freely. “Yes, she does! Mamma’s orders! And if not Daisy, then Lady Flora performs that duty.”
    â€œThen I shall perform in their stead. Come, dearest Victoria! The bonne will watch over the children. Dry your tears and come with me!”
    Fidi led the way to the servants’ stairs, which I was always forbidden to use. For the first time in my life I went down a staircase without having my hand held —a taste of freedom! We escaped through a