Free Amos Goes Bananas by Gary Paulsen

Amos Binder was standing in his bathroom as his best friend for life, Duncan—Dunc—Culpepper wrapped the third roll of gauze bandage around his head.
    “Ouch! You’ve got it too tight.” Amos tried to get a look at himself in the mirror. “Don’t you think you’re overdoing it a little? I already look like a reject from a bad Egyptian movie.”
    Dunc frowned. “Hold still. I’m practicing my half-hitch, four-tail triangular wrap. Lucky for you I just learned it in health class last week.”
    “Yeah. Real lucky. Maybe next time I could wind up in traction, and then you could really have fun.”
    “The manager at Peterson’s department store said there better not
be
a next time. In fact, he said he never wanted to see you anywhere near the store again.” Dunc tied a double knot on the top of Amos’s head and pulled it tight. “It was all I could do to keep him from calling the police.”
    “You didn’t have to tell him I had just come out of brain surgery and the anesthetic hadn’t worn off yet.”
    Dunc shrugged. “It was the only thing I could come up with on short notice. Maybe you had a better story for explaining why one side of your face got mashed inside the cash register at the service desk?”
    “How about the truth?” Amos pulled the bandage apart near his left eye so he could get a better look at himself. “It’s not a crime for a guy to answer a telephone page. I would have made it, too, if I hadn’t landed on that roller skate when I jumped over the counter. How was I supposed to know that I would slide headfirst into the cashier’s drawer at the exact moment she tried toclose it? It could have happened to anybody.”
    Dunc carefully rolled up the unused gauze and put it in the medicine cabinet. “I heard that page, too, remember? They said there was a telephone call for a Mr. Walter Kolwoski.”
    “Kolwoski and Binder are very close. They both have ‘i’s in them. Besides, I was expecting a call from Melissa about our field trip to the Monkey Farm tomorrow.”
    Amos had decided a long time ago that there was only one girl in the whole world for him. Her name was Melissa Hansen. He was positive that deep down she really loved him, too, but she just hadn’t managed to get around to telling him yet. Every time the telephone rang, he was sure it was her calling to tell him that she had finally come to her senses.
    Dunc sighed. “Amos, Melissa doesn’t even know your name. And besides, it’s not a Monkey Farm, it’s called the Center for Understanding Primate Intelligence Development. You know, monkeys reading and counting, that sort of thing. They call it C.U.P.I.D. for short.”
    A dreamy, faraway look stole into Amos’s eyes. “A perfect spot for our first rendezvous. You know how it works in the movies, Dunc. Fate throws two people together and bingo—they start looking for a house.”
    “Fate isn’t throwing you two together. Mrs. Burnbottom, our science teacher, is. She said we either had to go on the field trip tomorrow or stay at school and write a fifty-page essay on the complete circulatory system of the adult acorn worm.”
    “Whatever.” Amos waved his hand. “The point is we’ll be together.”
    “Not really. There will be at least a hundred other kids out there, not counting Mrs. Burnbottom.”
    “Details.” Amos studied himself in the mirror. “Do you think my face will be normal by tomorrow?”
    “No. But I don’t think it will matter much. Mrs. Burnbottom put us all into study groups.” Dunc opened the bathroom door and walked across the hall. “You and I are in the same group … along with Herman Snodgrass and Agnes Dorfmyer.”
    Amos’s shoulders slumped. “How could this happen?” He followed Dunc across thehall. “Maybe I’ll stay at school and write the report.”
    “Why?” Dunc sat down at his desk. “I hear this C.U.P.I.D. place is kinda neat. You could be missing out.”
    Amos made a face. “Herman Snodgrass eats boogers, and Agnes