Free Maternal Harbor by Marie F. Martin Page B

cleaners.   It was almost like something spoke to her.  Erica struggled to breathe.
    “ Unfortunately, there’s no medical evidence that treatment to lower the hormone level will prevent stillbirth.  I’m truly sorry.”
    Erica gasped and filled her lungs.  “No!  No!  No!”
    Florene injected a hypodermic needle into the IV tubing.
    “ No!  I won’t sleep!  Derek needs me.”  She struggled, fought to be free from the hands.  “He needs me even more than mother did!”
    “ Ten more milligrams of Valium.”
     
     
     

Chapter 7
     
     
    Late the same afternoon, Teagan carried Charlie in his infant seat from the taxi to the front entrance of her condo building.  She couldn’t feel the warmth of the fresh new body that comprised her son.  Instead, the plastic handles of the carrier gouged her left-hand fingers; her right shoulder sagged under the weight of her purse, diaper bag and overnight case.
    Rain drizzled.  Teagan welcomed the familiar cloud cover and enjoyed the mist, damp and refreshing.  Good to be out of the hospital.  Charlie stirred, mewling infant sounds.  Happy he was awake; she set the diaper bag and case on the wet cement and uncovered his face, letting a few drops baptize his sweet features.  He squirmed, wrinkling his already wrinkled face in an expression of pure disgust.  She laughed.  “I’m sorry, wee boy, but you are now a real Seattleite, and that’s a good thing to be.”  The hilly, moist land next door to a harbor and an ocean provided a good place to grow into manhood.
    She lugged him and the bags inside to the elevator, thanking the powers that she had defeated a silly fear of elevators.  The progress over her phobia proved slow, but after learning of her pregnancy, she worked daily on it.  “I’ve done a lot of changing for you, Charlie.”
    He slit opened one eye, almost like he understood, and then closed it as if to say, so what .
    Ungrateful little piece of humanity, but oh so cute, she thought as she pushed the diaper bag out of the elevator with her foot and stepped safely off.  So far so good.  She and Charlie had managed to arrive home all by themselves.  The solid wood door of her condo loomed before them.  Once she crossed the threshold and closed it, she’d be alone – her baby’s sole care giver.
    This time Charlie opened his eyes and stared directly at her.  They clearly implied, Well?
    “ You’re right.  I can’t stand here like a scared ninny.”  She unlocked the door and kicked the bag inside.
    In the silence of the chilled, empty room, Teagan met the full weight of her responsibility.  And she knew that no matter how much it cost in time or energy, her little boy would never be alone−never like she’d been. 
      She crossed to the heat register and turned it to 70 degrees like the baby book recommended for newborn infants.  Glancing around for the nearest place, she hurried to the coffee table, set the infant seat down and uncurled her tingly fingers.  She gathered his warm little body into her arms, and the tiny lump of humanity reassured her.
    “ We’ll be all right,” she murmured near his fuzzy head.  “I‘m not like a fish in the sea, I won’t spawn and forget.  I’ll love and care for you.  Trust me on that.”  A bubble of joy welled through Teagan’s fears–and she danced with her son.  Not the fast jig of her ancestors, but a slow whirling to a remembered waltz.  Bryan’s tune.
    Oh Bryan, Bryan.  I should see your features in Charlie, not John’s.  Talking with Joyce at the market uncovered the buried memories, and Teagan banished them back in the safe place she’d learn to tuck them.  Bryan belonged to her past.  Charlie belonged to her future.
    The phone rang.  She glared at the instrument, wanting only to savor the sanctuary of her home.  Don’t answer, she told herself.  Let the voice mail speak for me.
    Pai was leaving a message to call.
    Teagan couldn’t help herself and picked up