Free A to Z of You and Me by James Hannah

for you.”
    â€œOK.”
    She unclips my chart from the end of the bed, draws a pen out of her white-piped pocket, and begins to gnaw unsanitarily on the lid. “What are we going to do with you, eh?”
    â€œI don’t know. Listen, Sheila—can you make it so that I don’t get any more visitors? I don’t…I don’t want to see anyone.”
    She looks up at me, over the top of the clipboard.
    â€œAre you going to tell me what this is all about then?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œWell, when one of my people gets into a lather about a simple little trip around the garden, I like to try to get a handle on why that might possibly be.”
    She peers at me intently with her bottomless black irises.
    â€œJust…good old family baggage.”
    â€œWas that your brother then?”
    â€œKelvin? Ah, no, no. He’s playing the servant to my sister.”
    â€œThings…a little bit tricky back there?”
    â€œLittle bit.”
    She frowns and looks back down at my notes.
    â€œThings with your sister?”
    â€œLittle bit.”
    She bats the clipboard flat against her chest. “Tricky enough that you want to sever all ties?”
    I close my eyes and sigh. “Look, I know what you’re getting at. But it’s for the best. We’ve said all we’ve got to say to each other.”
    â€œIt’s not for me to judge, Ivo. You’ll know better than me, I’m sure.” She slots the clipboard back in place, repockets the pen, and comes around to half sit at the end of the bed.
    â€œLet me take you through what I’m thinking,” she says. “What I’m thinking is, here is a man, he’s not well, and he’s clearly not happy. Now, it’s none of my business, but I’m here for a reason. If you don’t want to see anyone, that’s up to you. Whatever you want, that’s what I do.”
    â€œRight.”
    â€œBut you’ve got to know, if you refuse all visitors, that means something to us. That sends us a message. Dr. Sood will come in here in the morning, and he and I will have a chat about all the cases, and he’ll look at your notes, and he’ll say, Oh, refused all visitors , and he’ll draw certain conclusions from that.”
    â€œYeah, I know.”
    â€œIt’s just my job to let you know that. I mean, there are a lot of things we offer, to help people out when they’re having dark thoughts. I can arrange one of our counselors to come along and have a chat at any time.”
    â€œNo. No thanks.”
    â€œJust so long as you know I’m here to help. I’m here to help you get what you need.”
    â€œIt is. It’s what I want.”
    She smiles at me and holds up her hands. “OK,” she says. “OK. I’ll see what I can do. Just do me a favor: don’t close yourself off completely. Any fool can be unhappy. Cutting yourself off from absolutely everyone… Well, it’s very tempting, I know, but sometimes it’s not for the best. Sometimes you’ve got to try a little bit, so you can feel better.”
    I frown at the wall fractionally. It sounds like the sort of thing you’d say. I can hear you saying it.
    â€œI don’t want to see anyone,” I say in a measured tone.
    â€œOK, lovey. I’ll put the word in on reception.”
    I look up at her and nod. “Thank you.”
    â€œYour wish is my command.” She smiles, standing and brushing imagined crumbs from her trousers. “But listen, Ivo. You can be as grumpy as you like with me; I’ll keep on coming back. Just…just don’t leave anything unsaid to the people who matter. It only takes a few words to change your world.”

_____
    It’s quieter in here today. Something’s not quite right—people’s rhythms are different. Sheila’s not dropped in as many times, and when she has, she’s been giving off different signals.