Free Nanny Piggins and the Race to Power 8 by R. A. Spratt

place – the telephone booth across the street. (It is amazing that she ever fit in there, but at the circus she had learnt a thing or two from the clowns who jam themselves into the tiny car.) When the children had last seen her, Melanie weighed an impressive 400 kilograms, but she had been working at her craft since then and now easily weighed 450 kilograms. As she ran at the barricade at full speed, wobbling and screaming ‘CHOCOLATE!’, she was an astonishing sight.
    The local children had all been forewarned, so they all got out of the way. But the soldiers had never expected to be charged by a huge bellowing fat lady – they had no idea what to do. She ran right over the top of them, slammed into the front door of the shop and knocked it right off its hinges. The children streamed inside, grabbing sweets off the shelves and shoving them in their mouths.
    ‘Now for the piece of resistance,’ said Nanny Piggins as she got up and pulled back a bush to reveal her old cannon from the circus.
    ‘How long has that been there?’ marvelled Derrick.
    ‘I had it installed months ago,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘I thought it important to have artillery on hand in case trouble broke out and the sweet shop needed to be defended.’
    ‘But you’re going to use it to attack the sweet shop,’ said Samantha.
    ‘I know,’ agreed Nanny Piggins. ‘It’s funny how these things work out so conveniently.’
    Nanny Piggins climbed into her cannon, Boris lit the fuse and Nanny Piggins blasted out across the street yelling, ‘IIIIIIII TOOOOOOLLLLLD YOOOOOOOUUUU SOOOOOOO!’ as she flew over the heads of the bamboozled soldiers, smashed through the upstairs window of the shop and ran downstairs to join in all the fun.
    ‘Shall we join them?’ asked Boris, holding out his hand to Derrick, Samantha and Michael. ‘I’ll help you get past the soldiers. I’ll roar at them and pretend to be fierce if they give you any trouble.’
    ‘Forget that,’ said Michael. ‘I’ll roar at them and pretend to be fierce myself.’ He leapt out and ran towards the shop; Derrick soon followed and even Samantha, who was usually so trepidatious, had a rush of blood to the head (perhaps inspired by the heady scent of confectionery in the air) and took off towards the sweet shop with Boris jogging behind.
    A few short minutes later, two hundred exhausted children sat outside on the footpath finishing off the last of the sweets. The soldiers nursed their wounds, which were mainly psychological, although there was one hard-boiled-lolly-to-the-eye injury, a candy cane up the nose to remove and a victim of a particularly nasty wedgie. (He had been standing in front of the fudge counter, so he only had himself to blame.)
    Nanny Piggins sat on the gutter, proudly licking the last of the chocolate off her trotters with a very smug expression on her face.
    The Colonel and his friend the Drill Sergeant pulled up in their jeep.
    ‘Drill Sergeant, how wonderful to see you!’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘I’ve broken the will of your men for you, and given them a short sharp lesson in military tactics.’
    ‘All I’ve learnt is that children can be terrifying,’ grumbled Peregrine.
    ‘That’s because they were properly motivated and focused on their objective,’ said Nanny Piggins.
    ‘They just wanted sweets,’ complained Thor.
    ‘Exactly,’ said Nanny Piggins. ‘If you can master that level of intensity and single purpose you will win any battle. Now that I have thoroughly thrashed you, I want you all to promise to do everything the Drill Sergeant says from now on.’
    The men groaned.
    ‘I know he can be mean and grumpy, and he wants you to do all sorts of wearisome exercises,’ said Nanny Piggins, ‘but he only does it because he loves you.’
    ‘Steady on there,’ said the Drill Sergeant. ‘I wouldn’t go that far.’
    ‘You can hush up as well,’ ordered Nanny Piggins.
    ‘Yes ma’am,’ said the Drill Sergeant.
    ‘You might be so out of