Free Safe Word by Teresa Mummert

held them out, the knife still in my other hand.
    Lily never took her eyes off me as she pushed away from the wall. I knew she was scared, and it made me sick to know that she thought I would do something like that to her. As she got closer she kept her chin up in defiance, but I could see her shaking like a leaf. She reached out and gripped the clothes, but I didn’t release them. I pulled them closer, yanking her inches from me.
    “If you try to hurt me again, you better pray you fucking kill me.”
    She swallowed as her chest rose and fell rapidly. I had made my point. I let go of the clothing and she hurried into the spare room to change, leaving the door wide open out of fear of being locked in. I sank down onto the leather couch and flicked through the television channels.
    When Lily finally glanced out of the doorway, I didn’t look at her. I had put her through hell already today, and I didn’t want to make things worse. I was actually kind of proud to see her fight back against me. She walked slowly across the room and sank down on the edge of the couch, pushing herself into the side to stay as far away from me as possible.
    “I won’t bite.”
    “I have no idea what you’re capable of anymore.” She folded her arms over her chest.
    “I’ve fed you, clothed you, and given you shelter. I can’t be all that bad.”
    “You kidnapped me, made me eat runny tuna and wear clothes ten sizes too big.”
    I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Something inside of her refused to give up.
    “They look good on you.” I smiled and as her eyes caught mine. I cleared my throat and focused on the television.
    “You’re going to go to jail for this,” she snapped. I turned the volume up.
    “I’m not going anywhere.” All traces of humor were gone.
    “You can’t hold me against my will.”
    “Can’t I? I believe I am.” I raised an eyebrow at her and she narrowed her eyes.
    “You’re a monster.”
    Without thinking I pushed myself across the couch, hovering over her as she pushed herself deeper into the cushions.
    “Maybe if things had been different all those years ago this wouldn’t be happening, but this is who I am now. I’m not the boy next door who is going to come and save you. He’s dead.” I regretted my choice of words as soon as they left my mouth.
    “It’s just a storm, Rose.” I extended my hand from the protection of the pavilion and let the drops of water fall into my hand. I turned back to Rose who had her arms across her chest and tears streaming down her cheeks.
    “It scares me.”
    I walked over to her and ran my hand through her hair as I searched her face.
    “You can tell me anything.” I looped my arms around her back and pulled her against my chest. After a moment she began to speak.
    “When my mother kicked my real dad out it was storming like crazy. The roads were flooded and we even had a tornado watch.” I rubbed her back as she took a moment to compose herself.
    “It’s okay,” I whispered into her hair.
    “He was in his office packing some paperwork. I wanted to give him something to remember me by. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again, ya know? I was only ten.” She sniffed and rubbed my chest as she continued to talk. “I grabbed my participant ribbon from ice skating. I was horrible.” She let out a sad laugh. “But my dad was always there encouraging me, telling me how great I was.”
    “I bet you were amazing.” She pulled back from me to look at my face and I wiped a tear from her cheek with my thumb.
    “The storm was getting worse. As I walked down the hallway, thunder cracked so loud I thought it was inside of the house. I took off for his office.” Her face froze in pain from the memory and she completely broke down. I grabbed her in my arms as her knees began to give way beneath her.
    “You don’t have to tell me, Rose. It’s okay. Shh…”
    “At first I thought he was so upset that he was lying over his desk, crying. I thought he was so