Free Forgetfulness by Ward Just Page A

surrounded on all sides. He went on, I came for a summer, just fetched up the way Granger had in 1920. I was dead tired and depressed, too. God, it had been an awful year. The year of the Spaniard, as you'll recall—
    Bernhard shuffled his feet and said, No need to mention that.
    Thomas said, Why not?
    It's private, Bernhard said.
    You know the rules, Russ said.
    Too bad the Spaniard didn't.
    Really, Thomas, Bernhard said. Basta.
    Think about Bernhard's offer, Russ said.
    The apartment's there any time you want it, Bernhard said. I fixed the heat, by the way.
    Good idea, Russ said.
    The boys in the wine trade are gone, too.
    Even better, Russ said. Any replacements?
    Boys in the fashion trade.
    Noisy boys, I'll bet.
    Quiet as little mice, Bernhard said.
    Thomas looked from one to the other as they did their verbal soft shoe.
    I'm worried about the damn cab, Russ said. Shall we call? The train leaves in ninety minutes.
    Bernhard cleared his throat. I didn't mean to be abrupt about the Spaniard, Thomas. I was startled. I wasn't prepared. So I overreacted.
    Thomas peered into his wineglass. He hadn't been listening to them. He said, Do you think an hour would have made a difference?
    Russ looked at him blankly. A difference in what?
    Florette, he said.
    No, Russ said. Not one hour. Not two hours. Put that thought out of your head. Where did you get such an idea? It's ridiculous.
    The doctor said something about it.
    Oh, that's helpful of her. That's so helpful. What does she know? Was she there?
    She was there at the autopsy, Russ. An hour might have made the difference. Florette alive today. Exact words.
    She doesn't know what she's talking about, Russ said. It's only speculation on her part. Guesswork.
    I think an hour might have made the difference, Thomas said. I think Florette would be alive today if we'd realized she'd gone for a walk, kept track of the time. We would have started earlier. Got help sooner. Raised the alarm, arranged for a search party instead of opening another bottle and telling another story. And she'd be alive right now. What do you think?
    Russ was silent a long moment. Finally he said, When my Sandra was sick we went everywhere, Boston, New York, Paris. God, the treatments were painful. No success in Boston, New York, or Paris. So we thought about Mexico. They were supposed to have wonderful experiments in Mexico, things the Americans have never dreamed of and therefore discounted. But Sandy wasn't convinced. I wasn't convinced either. The doctors in Boston definitely were not convinced. So we didn't go to Mexico. We went back to our apartment in New York City and waited. Long months, as you'll remember. I've thought a hundred times about the things we might have done differently. There were plenty of them. And so what, Thomas? They weren't done. If they had been done, maybe the outcome would have been different. Maybe not. At the end, you know what made the big difference? Morphine. I'll tell you something else. She didn't die with a smile on her face. Turn the page, Thomas.
    Sure it's possible, Bernhard said.
    So you agree, Thomas said.
    We started late. What can I say?
    We started when we realized she was late. We didn't imagine she was in danger, Russ said, looking sideways at Bernhard.
    Too late, Thomas said. I believe an hour would have made the difference. It was dark when we started. Because we were telling stories and having a hell of a good time.
    Russ looked away and said nothing further.
    Where are you going with this, Thomas? Bernhard looked at him steadily and moved a step closer.
    Thomas ignored that and spoke to himself, as if he were in an empty room. And we still don't know who they were or where they came from. Or what they wanted. Why they took her to that place and abandoned her.
    I've made inquiries, Bernhard said patiently. I'll know more in a few days. The people I spoke to had no good ideas, at least not yet. They were almost certainly not locals. Maybe they were small-time