Free Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel by Bethany Maines Page A

her own language for signifiers. The trick was to be consistent and not to deviate from the average language choices too much.
    She wondered if anyone else felt as if they were only here through some strange coincidence of fate, in no way connected to actual ability or merit. She definitely wasn’t here on merit. She remembered a face full of lipstick and shuddered.
    Nikki’s hand jerked, trying to push the memory away, and scattered her flash cards on the floor, drawing strange looks from the others. She smiled in embarrassment and knelt to pick up the cards. She was not thinking about that particular evening. She was not thinking about handcuffs or anything related to that night.
    The program cut to a commercial for a dental hygienist program at a local community college.
    “I was going to do that,” Carmella said, pointing to the TV. “If I hadn’t come here, that’s what I was going to do.”
    “I was on the waiting list for the nursing program,” said Sarah.
    “I just graduated from college. I was supposed to go work with my dad,” Heidi said gloomily. “He was kind of pissed that I came here instead.”
    “I’d be twenty pounds heavier,” volunteered Ellen, “and I’d be up to date on Days of Our Lives .”
    “I’d probably have gotten engaged to Ben Mitchell,” Jenny said. “He was a lawyer. Mama really liked that I’d never have to work again. My family didn’t really understand why I wanted to leave.”
    “Mine, neither,” agreed Heidi. “And I couldn’t say it was because I wanted something better, because Dad doesn’t think there’s anything better than his business.”
    “I was in the army for a while,” Sarah said. “Good benefits and everything, but my mom kept freaking out that I was going to go die while I was in Iraq. She doesn’t understand why I’m wasting a slot in the nursing program to come here.”
    “How about you, Nikki? Where’d you be, if you weren’t here?” asked Jenny.
    “Jail,” said Nikki, unintentionally answering honestly. Everyone stared. “Joke.” she said, hastily gathering the last flash card and resuming her seat. The girls exchanged glances, and Ellen shook her head.
    “I don’t think so,” said Cheryl.
    “There was a slight incident when I tried to sell makeup,” Nikki said. Jenny and Ellen exchanged glances.
    “I see,” Carmella said.
    “And did this incident involve some sort of police action?” asked Heidi, leaning forward with a grin.
    Nikki shifted uncomfortably; she did not want to talk about this.
    “Fight’s back on!” Ellen said, rescuing Nikki.
    “We’re coming back to this,” threatened Sarah.
    “Later,” said Jenny, around a mouthful of popcorn. “During the commercials.”
    But commercials came and Jenny immediately launched into a story about throwing up during a beauty pageant. By the time the contestants were diving for the tiara, the fight was back on.
    “Thanks,” Nikki whispered, as they walked upstairs to their rooms.
    “I could see you didn’t want to talk about it,” Jenny whispered back.
    “But you realize that now you have to tell us,” put in Ellen.
    “It’s embarrassing,” Nikki protested.
    “More embarrassing than throwing up in front of the entire judging panel and my high-school crush?” Jenny demanded, and Nikki paused, trying to balance out the relative weights of their shame.
    “Good point,” she said, opening the door to their room.
    “Hold on,” Ellen said, digging through one of her dresser drawers. “I want to hear more about the boy from Canada. You never finished your story about him.”
    “What brought that up?” asked Nikki, amazed by Ellen’s elephantine memory.
    “I’m not getting my daily soap opera, so I’ve got to fill it in with something, and you girls are it. Besides, I’ve been thinking about that guy; he doesn’t sound very trustworthy. I want to know what happened.”
    “She’s right,” said Jenny, laughing. “That is kind of sketchy behavior, but I