Free The Birth (The Black Wing Book 1) by Miriam Yvette Page A

mine.
    “I haven’t heard those words in a while” I shuddered.
    “Child, what’s going on?” she said.
    “Do you know why my mother didn’t abort me?” I muttered. “Government assistance. That is the reason why I exist! My mother didn’t even want me, she only wanted to survive. I’ve known this for so long, but I never said it out loud. When my in laws told me of the benefits I would receive for being pregnant and poor, the waivers, and the health care. They said I was lucky I got pregnant, otherwise I wouldn’t benefit from the baby. I was so disgusted by what they said that I threw up in front of them. I’m becoming like my own mother.”
    “First let’s be realistic.” interrupted Ms. Clarisse. “You can’t let your pride, and your resentment towards your mother make your baby starve. You are not like you mother, look at yourself. Your crying and fearing for your little one, you stood up to your husband for your child’s sake. That doesn’t sound like something your mother would do. However, you can’t be naïve about your situation. Money doesn’t grow on trees, and two mouths to feeds is harder than one mouth that can willingly skip a meal.”
    Ms. Clarisse is right, no matter how much I want to evade the truth. The city has made it impossible for someone like me to make it independently. If I get an apartment, I will have to decide to pay rent or starve.
    “Some of the most successful people I know, once had government aid.” said Ms. Clarisse. “It’s no secret that the system has been abused, but the ones who get out of it can make something of themselves. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
    “It’s not that I’m ashamed. I’m determined.” I protested “I want to show my child that he or she can survive regardless of their position in society.”
    I squeezed Ms. Clarisse’s cold hands.
    “My only worry is my husband.” I admitted. “I have never made him this upset before. He said he hired someone to keep an eye out for me. I was so scared I left the woman’s shelter for good.”
    “Humph—what money does he have to pay someone to find you?”
    Ms. Clarisse advised a police report was all I needed to keep myself safe.
    “Mr. Müller is our family lawyer, he’s a dear old friend of mine. He can defend, and represent you in court.”
    “My husband is an alcoholic, who occasionally mixes his drinking with drugs. A police report or judge will not stop him from doing what he intends. He will do something—I just don’t know how far he’s capable of going.”
    That’s when Ms. Clarisse assured me that no one will find me in her old cabin. Instantly, I’m not liking where this is leading at.
    “Ms. Clarisse, please.” I begged. “I can’t leave California to some far away state I know nothing about. I need to do this on my own—without your help.”
    “If you can’t imagine leaving this state, then your husband will think the same. Rent out my cabin and I won’t lift another finger to help you. From there on, you’re on your own.”
    I graciously reject her kind offer. She shouldn’t resolve my problems with her possessions—especially when the cabin means so much to her. I thought her offer would end that day but it didn’t. Everyday Ms. Clarisse became more passionate about convincing me to leave California. A task that is easier said than done.
    Who would live in the woods, anyway? How will I know my way around? It’s just too much! I pleaded with her not to force me to think about it. Ms. Clarisse said she would stop but had her offer open for me to take. I assured her I didn’t need to, but thanked her for her gesture. I don’t think she was happy that I got my way.
     

     
30th of May
14 weeks pregnant
    Paying for a hotel has torn a giant hole in my checking account. Now it’s digging into my savings, a savings that is not affiliated with bank. Over the years, my husband has been clueless about my savings hidden in a pouch, nicely taped on the bottom