Free Diane T. Ashley by Jasmine Page B

wrestled with uncomfortable emotions. “I hated to hear about your father. I know how much you hoped to see him once more.”
    “I’m fine. It’s not like Pa and I were close.”
    Another silence developed, broken by Blake’s sigh a few moments later. “Have I ever told you about my own father?”
    David shook his head. Even though he’d spent so much time around Blake and the others aboard the
Water Lily
, he’d always thought they led wonderful, nearly perfect lives.
    “We were estranged for years. I thought he was wrong in the way he raised me, and I ran away from him as soon as I could. I blamed him for all of my troubles, holding him responsible because I misunderstood him. I was full of bitterness right up until the day I forgave him. Looking back at it now, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time. Forgiving him lifted a huge weight off of me.”
    How could Blake compare their experiences? “Your situation was different from mine.”
    “That’s true.” David could feel Blake’s gaze probing his face. “I’m the one who abandoned my father, not the other way around. And I had the chance to talk to my father about the past. I know it’s hard, but that doesn’t change the fact you still need to forgive your father.”
    David turned suspicious eyes toward the older man. Had Marguerite blabbed to him about David’s reservations? No. Marguerite wouldn’t betray his confidence. “Why should I forgive him? If he hadn’t run away, my life and my mother’s would have been much different.”
    “Yes, your life would’ve been different. Whether it would have been better or worse is something we’ll never know.”
    Surprise rocked David. He’d never thought that his life might have been harder if Pa had stayed in Natchez. He’d always been too angry about being deserted.
    “But you have a duty to forgive him anyway because you’re a Christian.” Blake spoke softly, but his words might have been daggers aimed at David’s heart.
    A sense of betrayal made him defensive. He pushed away the idea that he might be better off because of his father’s absence. “It still feels wrong. I shouldn’t have to forgive him when he’s the one who did wrong. I was only a child. I had no choice.”
    “I know how hard it seems right now. I struggled with the same sense of unfairness even though I was the one who ran away.” Blake’s voice roughened. He stopped talking and cleared his throat. “I blamed God. I thought He should have given me a better home, a father who would care for his family’s physical needs over their spiritual welfare. I couldn’t see that the man who raised me wasn’t the problem. I was too busy running away. Even after Lily and I met—after I fell in love with her—I didn’t understand how my refusal to face the past affected my future.”
    David swallowed hard as he listened to Blake’s confession. He’d never seen the struggles Blake was describing. He’d always thought Blake and Lily knew how to deal with every challenge. Sure, they’d argued from time to time. Who didn’t? “What changed?”
    “God called me to Him. He filled my life with Christians and used them to speak to me, to be examples for me.” Blake’s chuckle held no mirth. “But I was hardheaded. Running away seemed easier than listening to Him. It took losing everything I held dear before I finally surrendered my life to Him.”
    Taking a deep breath, David turned toward Blake. “And once you did, everything worked out. But that won’t happen for me. It’s too late. I used to dream my pa would come back to Natchez, get me and Ma, and we’d live together like a real family.”
    “I’m sorry your dream didn’t come true.”
    David didn’t know what he’d expected from Blake. Derision? Disbelief? Certainly not sympathetic understanding. Blake’s response gave him the courage to continue. “I think that’s why I never quite accepted you and Lily as my family. Don’t get me wrong. I know how good