fine, thanks very much. The truth was
he didn’t want to sleep. Not tonight. Not ever again. He was terrified by the thought
of falling asleep.
Got a pill for
that?
The Doctor put
his arm around Jack’s shoulders just like Chad had done—maybe like everyone did
when they thought they were dealing with the deeply disturbed—and showed him
politely out of the exam room.
“Hey, thanks for
everything, Doc…I mean Jim.”
“No problem,
Jack. Just try and relax and make sure and call Dr. Lewellyn today. I’ll call
him, as well, so he’ll see you right away.”
Jack shook the
offered hand and hurried out of the office. Then he sat in his car with the
engine running and Today’s Country blaring on the radio for nearly twenty
minutes, tears running down his face, his prescriptions wrinkled and clutched
in his fist.
On the radio,
Dierks Bentley seemed excited to see where the night might lead.
Fuck you,
Dierks !
He pulled out
of the crowded parking lot and headed home, with a quick stop at the Rite Aid.
Jack walked
into his house with his very best forced smile and “everything is fine now”
look on his face. He had a small white paper bag, full of little oral bullet
solutions to all his problems, clutched in his right hand. He realized he held the
bag unconsciously out in front of him like he was carrying a little bag of dog
shit, and dropped his hand to his side, trying to look more relaxed. He was
greeted by his smiling little girl (gratefully oblivious to Daddy’s slipping
sanity) and his beautiful wife, her forced smile in no way masking the concern
in her eyes. Jack dropped his bag of cure on the coffee table as he hugged his
wife and kissed Claire on the forehead.
“Hey, guys,”
he said. Pam held him a moment longer than usual.
“Hey, baby,
how was your day?”
Did Dr. Barton
purge your demons? Did he rescrew your head on?
“Okay,” Jack
answered as he collapsed onto the couch, fingers pulling on his tie. Pam
dropped Claire into Daddy’s lap, her squirming feet kicking into the soft spot
in his crotch and earning her a painful grunt instead of a hug.
“Kisses, Daddy…MMMMM…MAAAAAAA!”
Her mouth was wet on his cheek and smelled of fruit cocktail. It was wonderful
in a way that only a parent would understand.
“Kisses,
Claire Bear,” Jack responded, kissing his baby on her soft cheek. He looked up
at his wife, who watched him tentatively, not wanting to ask. Jack shifted
Claire to his knee and unconsciously blocked another foot shot to his package.
“Well, good
news,” Jack said more casually than he felt. He Eskimo kissed Claire, who
giggled. “Daddy’s not crazy, little buddy.”
Pam grimaced.
“No one thought you were crazy, Jack,” she said, shaking her head as she joined
him on the couch. “What did Dr. Barton have to say?”
“Well, you
were right, baby. Doc says he has several patients with this same problem. He
says that it’s a reaction to the flood of war images coming into the house,
just like you said.” Claire grabbed his nose. Jack kissed her little fingers
gently.
“Noze,” she
said.
“That’s right,
buddy! Nose—Daddy’s nose.” He looked at Pam, who waited patiently for more.
“He gave me
some head-shrinker pills to help me with the anxiety, and some sleeping pills.”
Jack felt his left eye tick a bit at that. Pam nodded and waited for more.
“He thinks
that will help?” Her voice sounded full of hope.
“Yep! Says it
will.” Jack kissed Claire on the ear. “Ear—Claire Bear’s ear!”
“Air,” she
answered, delighted. Jack continued.
“He’s also got
me an appointment with a Dr. Lewellyn, a friend of his who kind of specializes
in this sort of thing.” Pam hugged her husband tightly and Claire squirmed to
hug them both.
“Thank you, baby,”
Pam sighed, her relief palpable.
“Thank you, honey,”
Jack answered, breaking the group hug and kissing his wife gently on the mouth,
tickling her upper lip with his tongue. “Thanks for