Free The Color of Joy by Julianne MacLean

unfortunately, but everyone keeps telling me it’s a good sign. It means all the pregnancy hormones are in proper working order. But I also have a bad case of what they call pregnancy brain.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Basically, in layman’s terms, it makes you stupid. Seriously Jake, I can’t believe how absentminded I’ve been lately. Yesterday I locked the keys in the car, and I just can’t seem to multi-task at work like I could before. I get distracted so easily.”
    “Did you get back into the car?” he asked with concern. “Where were you when it happened?”
    “I was at work. Sylvie picked me up and I took the spare set in the next day. It wasn’t a problem, just a minor inconvenience.”
    “That’s good to hear. I wish I was there with you.”
    “Me, too,” I replied. “I really miss you.”
    We gazed at each other in silence for a few seconds, and I felt a wave of melancholy as I considered how far apart we were, but I didn’t want to focus on the negative. I didn’t want to waste this precious time grumbling about what couldn’t be changed.
    “So what happened this week?” I asked with a forced smile. “I didn’t hear from you.”
    He shook his head. “I can’t talk about that, babe. Sorry. We were safe though. I can promise you that, at least.”
    I hated feeling so disconnected from him, so out of reach. All I wanted to do was climb into the computer screen and wrap myself in his arms.
    “You look tanned,” I mentioned, working hard to keep the mood light and positive. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel guilty or worried about me, when he was the one in danger every day.
    “We’ve been outside a lot,” he replied, rubbing the top of his head. “Good thing we wear helmets or I’d have a really bad burn.”
    I smiled. “You’re staying away from the Pina Coladas, I hope?”
    He laughed. “Don’t worry about that. I’d never hear the end of it if I started sipping umbrella drinks around the base.”
    Though we were both laughing and joking, I knew we were avoiding the real truth—that we were desperate for each other, and his return seemed light-years away.
    Of course he knew I was struggling to get through each day, worrying about whether or not he was going to get shot or blown up. All this, while I was throwing up half the time. The stress was ever-present, but at least I was rational enough to accept that I’d signed up for this. I knew he was a soldier when I married him, so I had to accept this as part of my life.
    “Is the neighbor’s dog still pooping on our lawn?” Jake’s question jerked me out of my thoughts. I realized I’d been staring at the wall.
    “Funny you should ask,” I replied returning my gaze to the laptop screen. “I picked some up yesterday.”
    “Did you really? You know, I was thinking about ordering you one of those fancy pooper scoopers from the pet store. They’re spring loaded with a long handle so you wouldn’t even have to bend over.”
    I considered that. “Sounds intriguing. Might come in handy when I begin to get fatter. But you know how I love that warm squishy feel in the plastic bag.”
    He laughed. “Stop, baby… You’re turning me on. What bag did you use yesterday?”
    I narrowed my gaze seductively. “One of those thin white ones from the meat department.”
    “Oh, God. And what were you wearing?”
    “Gray sweatpants.”
    “You’re killing me here.”
    We both laughed.
    “How’s Sylvie?” he asked.
    “Great.”
    His eyebrows lifted doubtfully.
    “Seriously,” I added. “I’m amazed at the change in her. Maybe it’s just the fact that she’s getting to bed at a decent hour every night and she’s up early to help me out and get to class. She’s also going to yoga three times a week. It’s all helpful and productive.”
    “And she’s okay about…?” He paused. “You know. The baby?”
    I nodded. “Actually, she’s been really good about it. I think the fact that she has something else to